I have this friend (actually, my only friend) I'm supposed to be moving in with at the start of term. I've known her since middle school, and her family is pretty well-off, so I won't have to worry too much about rent. I am, however, worried about her. I'm kind of socailly awkward, and she's always seemed to care about other people's opinion of her a whole lot more than my opinion of her. She's a real party girl and has five hundred some friends on myspace. The thing is, she is eager to fit in with everyone. She used to tell me stories about crazy parties she went to and all her antics, ect. Recently, I met some of the people she's been hanging out with--all super, super shady hardcore gangsters. These are people I knew from high school. They weren't crackheads or gangsters when I knew them (ok, about half were and half weren't), but they obviously are now. Don't get me wrong, I'm aquainted with a lot of shady people, but I didn't know how shady they were when we were hanging out, or really how serious it was to be in a gang, as I was rather naive and young.
These shady people also hadn't stolen anything from me at the time.
My so called best friend kind of thinks she is better off than I am and more well-put-together because she has a very active social life (which she kind of rubs in my face) and knows the social rules for every situation. She is very defensive about her stupidity and ignorence about things such as reading, writing, and arithmetic. I would describe her actual emotional state as "circling the drain." I want to help her, but I worry that she'll just continue her old habits even if we move into a non-ghetto town. I think she will just find the worst group of people and make friends with them. Personally, I will smoke weed with a crack addled homeless gangster after buying him dinner and a cup of joe (I'll even shoot the s*** with him, f***), but I wouldn't invite that maniac into my f****** house to kick my dog to death and then make a shiv out of its teeth. I'll escort him to a church so he can sleep in a warm place, but I certianly wouldn't modify my behavior, personality, or the way I speak just to fit in with the crack-addled homeless guy. One time I caught my friend lying to this gangster girl about stealing. She said, "see these shoes? I totally stole these." The gangster chick was like, "Nice." My friend got those shoes for Christmas. Her grandma sent them. I've tried to be nice to gangsters. They're good friends for a while, until your back is turned. And then you turn back around, and all your furnature is gone. My friend has been ripped off by those n***** before, too, but unlike me it didn't seem to phase her. What should I do?

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  • Do NOT move in with her. If I had a friend like that I would dump her. She sounds immature and I don't think she does anything good to you.

  • Don't move in with her..or if you do have some serious rules at the get go about who can and can't come to the apartment etc. It sounds like a shady situation and nothing has even happened yet. Can you come up with a lie and say something fell through and you won't be able to move in..or just say you've been thinking that living together would be super cool, but you think that it may not be great for your friendship. And you think it's best that you and she get your own places..Live your life, you don't owe her anything. Do you still want to be friends with her?

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