My sister's new boyfriend

I am the oldest of two sisters. We're as different as there can be... But we've always looked a lot alike. She's a lot more outgoing and social than I am, goes out a lot and has many, many friends. I am shy and smarter, rather stay in watching documentaries or indy films than go out. I read a lot, so I talk about things that many people find unusual... So I became sarcastic at an early age. Well, people didn't get me anyway, so... I've always had my fun when I felt alone even if I was surrounded by people.
My sister has always been very competitive with me, even though I've never thought of our lives as a contest. But, she takes sibling rivalry to a whole other level... Because she's the youngest, she's always right, always gets away with everything, manipulates every situation to her advantage, and was very very selfish to a level that today, being a 26 years old woman, she tries to hide, or tries to compensate with a very fake, very fabricated personality that has fooled everyone... Even my family, people that are supposed to love us both the same, she has tried to alienate me from them, because we as sisters fight a lot, and she sees our fights as "wars", not as isolated incidents, and needs "allies". She does not apologize for anything wrong she does, and is very cruel to the point she has gotten her way and felt satisfaction by hurting me.
Even though she's made my life miserable for more than two decades, I've managed to have a normal life, and even normal relationships. And yes, she did try to sabotage all my attempts at being normal. She tried to humiliate me in front of the few friends I brought home, and even flirted with the guys I went out with. I try talking to her about this, but she denies she behaves this way, and shuts me down, just keeps doing this to this day... Tried talking to my family about this, but all they see is her fake personality. They think she's ok... But I don't think so... She's gotten away with pretty awful things. I caught her having s** with her boyfriend in the living room, the tv was in mute, and it was a few minutes after midnight. She knows I get up to pee like three times a night. She left the living room door wide open, and the bathroom is just next to the living room!!! She's not dumb... She just doesn't care. And yet she pretends to be so innocent and naive... She's got a lot of malice... But she hates that I can't keep quiet about it, and be a good sister. She has convinced people through a series of fabricated incidents and fights that I am "an aggressor" when she is the one who makes me cry and basically makes me seek my own space and personal safety because she starts getting really close to me and "in my face" in an intimidating manner, screaming things like: "stop hurting me! I'll call the cops on you! You're hurting me!" and then she said in a normal tone: "who are they going to believe?, me or you, weirdo?" No one knew ever what was going on, no one ever believed me. They actually believed her... She hit herself and made it look like I did it. Then she took pictures... If she wanted competition, I can honestly say: I can't compete with that.
Now she's got a new boyfriend... after she got over her first one (took her 3 to 4 years to get over him, and I can honestly say, she was kind of obsessed...) and this boyfriend isn't even her type... She talks s*** about him with her friends behind his back because he is too "psycho", from her perspective (psycho=not a jurk, a****** or douchebag... he may actually be a NICE GUY). He goes to an Ivy League University, studies his doctorate, is actually really smart, educated and a gentleman and for an unknown reason this man likes her... But my mom told me in confidence she does not feel the same way... But in front of me she acts like she's in love for some reason... and is all like: My boyfriend this... My boyfriend that... And all she implies in what she says is that her boyfriend and I have a lot in common, and I've actually talked to the guy, and we actually do, but she just somehow wants me to want him, like that will make her want him. She is very immature at how she approaches her relationships... First of all, I don't like her boyfriend like that. Maybe he's smart, but he's not the kind of person who can see through others... And doesn't know the difference between shady and transparent, or fake and real. I don't really respect people who can be easily manipulated, and if you're in my sister's circle, there's a big possibility you've been brainbleached. Besides, I think this guy might be good for her for many reasons... I believe she can have a fresh start in live, and I'm willing to put our difference aside to better our relationship. I've been wanting to do this for a while, but she has not been willing to change her ways... It's been really hard for me, because I feel like I don't have a sister... And she did say once, that I was dead for her... My dad is the only person that does believe me, and has my back, because my sister's mask has come off in front of him. By the way, she does not want her boyfriend to meet my dad yet.


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  • U sound exactly like me, except im younger than you, and the middle child

  • U Should just beat the f*** out of her!!

  • My ex gal is 26.We have two kid together.She fabricates a lot of stories.She left me for an ex bf and for a whole week, before we moved apart,all she said was how much better this guy was compared to me.She told me she will never break up with him and would have a kid with him.Her relative told me they broke up a month later.
    I sometimes think my ex has a mental illness.You cant believe the things she says and does so I will spare you.She wants people to think she is a saint but competes with me in many ways.
    You may not see it from my writing but I have 3 graduates degrees.I try to reason with her and think it may help us.We can never reason at the same level and in the end,I feel like am talking to a dead post.Good luck to u and your sister

  • When I first started reading this, I thought that you guys were in your teens. But her being 26 and she is still like this? You all don't live at home still? Has anyone considered that maybe your sister has a mental illness? That maybe this is how she's wired and may not have a lot of control over her reactions. As hard as it may be, it sounds like the sisterly relationship you'd like to have may not happen with this one. Concentrate on the friendships in your life that do work and just accept that you may never be truly close. It's sad, but it takes two and if she doesn't want to hear it or work on it, you have to take care of you.

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