Friends with benefits?
We dated three years ago for almost 2 years, and I decided to end things with you. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I felt it was best. I dropped off your stuff, and blocked all your calls. I know I put you through h***. We became friends again 4 months later and I really thought that was it. Then you suddenly met someone else and dated her for 7 months. I never, ever moved on. I missed you every day. I didn't date anyone else. We ran into eachother after things ended with her, and a few months later we were fooling around. It's been about a year and a half of friendship and being friends-with-benefits. No one knows. Our friends just think we are abnormally close. I love you, and I think you love me too. We're both scared. I'm so scared that you'll leave me any minute. When we were dating I was never insecure, but because we're both technically "single," I get insanely jealous and I hate it. I can't act like a child- I'm 22 years old! You want me to lose weight- I KNOW I need to. (I'm not one of those skinny girls that says she's fat but really isn't). I'm unhealthy. You make it seem like if I lost weight then our problems would be solved. But what if I lose weight and you realize that it wasn't the fat you disliked. What if you actually don't like ME. And who I am? I know it's stupid. I know that no matter what, being healthy is a win-win-win-win situation. I'm just a chicken. I love you. I want to be with you. I don't understand what's holding me back.