Ok here it goes as a child i always wondered what drove people crazy!! as in the mentally ill. i wanted to study psychotherapy. so i started uni as a mental health student later that year i left and got into n abusive relationship that really messed me up. sice breaking up with the guy i started counselling studies was doing well but since my brother is mentally ill and i lost my money over a damn stupid shp that failed. i have fet depressed i think about my 1st boyfriend who was lovely and regret losing him. i meet with my clients as a counsellor and constantly think about ending my life. is it ironic that im a counsellor yet suicidal. but i did find out wat drives people mad and its called LIFE!!!! especially bad decisions mad in life. i have been collecting apple seeds for 4 months i have 7600 seeds the only thing that stops e is that i cant find the rght lethal dose and im scared of getting stuck in a coma and becomng a vegetable. anti-depressants have helped a bit but im sooooooo unhappy. im stuck in a cu;ture clash were i think about how badly i have behaved as a muslim being british all these years. i regret my whoe life.