The Deep Rut

I am an 18 year old virgin. People keep telling me: "You're not a bad looking guy, you just need some confidence." The thing is I don't believe them. I'm too tall, way too skinny and hate my physical appearance in general. Plus, I'm the stereotypical/cliche socially awkward introvert that didn't have a soul to talk to until the age of 12. I don't know if I see myself differently compared to the way others see me or if I'm constantly being patronized. Either way my insecurities eat away at me daily and I slowly begin to despise myself a little more each day. I have gotten into the self-destructive habit of drinking, smoking pot and smoking cigarettes as a way of self medicating and it doesn't really work anymore. I question if I am or ever have been truly happy. I still don't know that answer and I don't know if I will ever find it. I just live day to day being tortured by my thoughts, sober or not, trying to make the best out of who I am, but I feel like I'm always falling short of that. I don't know what to do and I'm getting so tired of it. So f****** tired...

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  • Like the commenter before me said, you sound like a great guy. Speaking as someone who has low confidence and deals with people who feel much the same as you...there is hope. There is ALWAYS hope. I don't believe for a second that your low self-confidence is based in any reality. You will be happy. You have to find the right person and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. It's so freeing and wonderful to not give a s*** about what anyone else thinks: stop expecting so much of yourself, and accept who you are. You really do seem like a good person! Try and see yourself in this way, stop listening to the thoughts of others, and remember that it will all work out. :)

  • 18 year old virgin? That ISN'T bad!!
    Most girls like guys that don't sleep around, you just haven't found the right person yet.
    You're still young, you have heaps of years ahead of you.
    You sound like a good guy!

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