Why I'm alone
There was a boy I fell in love with in the eighth grade. He was my best friend and he loved me too. It was pure and painless.
Two years into our relationship I had to move away to North Carolina. I assumed he'd leave me since we were so young, but he said "I'll wait for you." and I believed him, because I loved him.
I'm now a junior in high school. We are still 'dating'. I haven't seen him for six months.
I know for a fact he's f***** my old best friend and at least three other girls since I've left. But all the time I've been here I haven't bothered to make close friends because I had him. I'm afraid to leave him now. I'm afraid simply because I'm scared there'll be nobody left to love me when he's gone.
He was my first boyfriend. Ever.
He took my innocence from me in eighth grade. He told me we'd get married. I still believe him. I'll marry him because I've never felt the love of anyone else.
He's bad for me, and I know it. I can't say no to him, and he knows that. I am a borderline alcoholic, and an atheist, and anorexic because of him.
He doesn't even know what he's done. I've never let anybody see.
I'll never leave him. It's been too long. I'm going to pretend it's a fairytale until something snaps.
That is my confession.