I feel like I can't hold on any more

I feel like I am just the dustbin for all of the s*** around me. I'm a nice person, and always make time to help others instead of always thinking about myself, but

- My parents bailed on me after I fell in love with someone not of my own race, and they refuse to accept him. Bang went my relationship with them. They've hardly cared to know I was alive since I moved in with him. I'm an only child
- Said guy soon became physically, verbally and emotionally abusive himself, and I've now had eight years of depression, self-loathing, and anguish as a result.
- I don't have a single friend who would not be somewhat p***** off if I was desperate and needed to call them at 3am or something, despite the fact that I'm always there for other people, whatever the hour.
- I've attempted suicide once by cutting, but that depressed me even more, as the razor wasn't sharp enough and I couldn't even cut myself properly, for f***'s sake.
- My love for my guy has evaporated, but I'm now in love from afar with someone else, who is a beautiful and soft-hearted guy, but whose girlfriend treats him like a dog. I can tell he likes me too, but he doesn't have the b**** to tell me. Surprise surprise. I'm just so good at attracting people who are gutless and bad at taking responsibility.

So, now, I'm wondering what the h*** I've got left that's worth hanging on for? I've had it with everything, and there doesn't seem to be much to look forward to...

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  • Don't talk to that yahoo guy he could be a cyber stalker.

    But listen, I just said the same thing to another wonderful girl. Just like yourself, don't kill yourself. Please go talk to a therapist or counselor to help you find peace. I know it feels like the end now, but it's not. I promise you that. When you have depression it's like a dark ink blob smudged in your view and all you see is that, but there is light on the other side. Things will get better. You have to find someone to talk to, and rid yourself of bad relationships that are abusive. We wonder why we have to go through all these difficulties, but like a young girl named Anne Frank said, it makes the end that much more beautiful. When you overcome it. There is something worth hanging on for. You just haven't found it yet. Please don't kill yourself whoever you are. You have a life worth living. You have GOT to hold on and talk to someone. I bet you have so many talents you don't even realize. <3 -Lauren

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