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Am helpless and depressed i dont know what to do.. really.. i feel wretched and i dont know why.. i dont know if i am reaping what i sought.. i dont know what to hate and what to love.. i feel i have so many blessings that i have ** up completely.. i feel i have no dignity.. no dignity what so ever.. i am very angry.. i am full of **.. i am a **.. i dont know what to say.. i think that the whole devil in this deal is me.. its me i am the reason for everything malfunctioning.. i am the ** with the stockholm syndrome .. i am the reason why everything beautiful is over.. i am stupid.. i am ugly.. i am a **.. i cannot help anyone but myself.. i am a homewrecker.. i am a ** of a sister.. i am a bloated bag.. i have std's i am a piece of **.. i am a mess.. i am losing a job.. and the bad thing is.. i think i never earned it.. thats a horrible feeling.. i cant stand on my own.. i hate mylife.. i hate my life.. i am sorry God.. i am sorry for the lies.. Lies lies lies so many lies..
You've done a good job of defining the things you don't like about yourself. If you honestly want to be something different you can work toward that. Why dwell on what got you here when the possibilities for better are right in front of you?