I'm a 22 year old girl whose life is so
I'm a 22 year old girl whose life is so f***** up, and I am so confused. I have 2 BF's. BF#1 is 29 & we've been together almost 3 yrs., but he is treating me very bad. Well, SOME of the time he does, only when he gets mad at me. He has been abusive to me both emotional & physical. When we are not fighting he is sweet, caring, & he says he loves me.
BF#2 is a 60 yr. old man who I met at work. We both work at a resort/ casino. He's a security guard & I'm a stripper. I've known him for about 7 months. We got together because of one night when BF#1 drove me to work. We were fighting & I was crying really hard in the parking lot after he left. Well, BF#2 saw me & asked "what's wrong Jess?". I tried to tell him but I was crying to hard, so he just hugged me for a long time.(like I said we were already aquaintances) Finally I calmed down & he brought me a soda & stayed there with me for awhile just talking.
After that night he seemed to be more concerned about me. I noticed a different vibe when we talked & it wasn't a bad one. I started making excuses to myself to see him. Then one night he walked me out to my car & gave me a hug. We looked at each other & the next thing I know he is kissing me. And I liked it! Over the next several weeks things progressed & we ended up sleeping together. I think I am starting to love him.
I'm still living with BF#1 & he's still the same. I do love him but I hate it when he abuses me. When we fight I go running to BF#2 for comfort. He's always there with his big strong shoulder to lean on. He always makes me feel better. I feel so safe in his arms.
The fact I can't get out of my head is that he is 60 & I am only 22! Is that wrong? Is it perverted for us to be attracted to each other? I don't know what to do. Sometimes I really want things to work out with BF#1. I love him very much. But now I am falling for BF#2 & sometimes I wonder how it would be to be with him instead. Please help!!!