I am so sick and weird that I don't
I am so sick and weird that I don't know what to do with myself. I can't s*** without sticking my hand in my ass and practically pulling it out. I don't know what is wrong with me. I always just use the bathroom while I'm in the tub, then I let my water drain and fill the tub up and bath with soap really good. My husband thinks I stay in the tub for hours because it's relaxing, and that I just want peace and quiet from the kids, and that I'm the cleanest chick on God's green earth. If he knew, he would be disgusted and leave me. I am digusted myself, but if I don't do it, my stomache will hurt really bad. I don't think my insides work like they should. I never get the urge to jut s*** on my own like other people. I can't remember when I didn't have to do this. I wonder ifI have a mental issue??? I mean, it doesn't bother me to do it anymore. I have done it fr so long that the only thing that bothers me is the fear of getting caught by my husband. I told him that I hate people coming in the bathroom with me when I first moved in, and he has listened so far. But could you imagine what he would say if he decided to suprise me and join me in the tub, walked in and ther's s*** all in my water?? Other than this I am not nasty. I know that I am nasty, but I mean, if you saw me on the street you woud see that I have good hygiene. I am a professional womn and I just really wish I could dtop doing this.