In love with my best friend....

I met this girl 3 years ago and she just caught my eye. When she walked in the room or said my name it would just light up my day. I knew i liked her right away... but she had a boyfriend for a year already so i new i had no shot. a few months later, around thanksgiving, she tells me she has feelings for me... i deny mine because i dont want hurt her. i ended up breaking her heart when i said that, then about a week later i confessed that i was in love with her but i knew she had a guy already. that night she drove me home and said "you know how everyone has their one dirty little secret?? well i want you to be mine." and she kissed me. i never experienced a feeling like of fireworks everywhere with someone. a few months later she broke it off with her bf and we started dating for a few months on and off. then she found a new guy again and dumped me for him. he was a p**** and she never got it through her head, but of course because i was in love i stayed by her side and always caught her when she fell. i went off to college and in about february she was single again and she asked me out. we dated again until the end of summer when she met a new guy again. she said she had lost her love for me and now has been dating this guy, who i do not like, for 6 months and i am still there to help her and catch her when she falls and always there to try and get her to smile. i tried moving on, buy i cant. she is always in the back of my mind and to this day i still would take her back instantly. i know im retarded for sticking around so long but its hard. i am not crazy or obsessive. we are really close friends and i am a very sweet guy, but in this world nice guys never win. i helped her with setting up her grad party and i didnt even get a "thank you" or anything and its tough because i know that he gets all the things i should get. i am still a virgin because she made a promise to God that she would wait til marriage and i respected that and never forced anything from her. i was always faithful. i dont know what to do anymore.... help somebody.

Jun 25, 2011

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  • My husband was like you in the beginning. He was someone I always came back to. Someone who always was there that would in a sense "save" me. We were both religious, I was bad, he wasn't, if I wanted to be good again I would come back to him. Anyway... He could never move on. I knew it wasn't right for us to be together. Yet, I would get back with him out of being lonely and what I said above. Its sounds like the girl your chasing after, which, to be honest, is a fruitless endeavor, sounds like she is just lonely. Sounds like she craves the amazing attention you give her, but she doesn't think highly enough of herself to be with you. She, to be honest, doesn't know what she wants. She will keep searching and searching. You however, will have to move on. It may be hard and you may think she's the one you will marry, but let me tell you something. I think you would be much better off with a woman that appreciates the every fiber of your being like you would a appreciate hers. Sure, you'll still think about this other girl. You'll still have feelings for her. But when you finally put your foot down and say you won't put up with it anymore, those feelings with eventually fade. All you have to do is put your foot down. Like everyone else has said, girls(who know what they want) would love to be with a guy like you. Guys like you are becoming more and more rare. Save your virginity for the woman that deserves it, and give it to her when you marry her. Nothing will be more special then that. Nothing in this world will compare to that connection on your wedding night. Nothing. You are worth more then anything she could offer. She is flimsy and childish and insecure. She will only bring you unhappiness. If she hasn't seen what your worth now, she never will in the future.

  • I'm sorry you're in this situation.
    (I'm a girl.18. White. About 5'3". Brown hair. Petite/Average body) I don't like talking people when I don't know what they look like. So.. there ya go.
    I don't personally know.. from your exact experience.. but I do have a friend like you. He's in love with me so much and would do anything for me. We've been bestfriends for 5 years.. (blahblah its a long story) well 2 years ago I started dating this other guy cause my bestfriend never asked me out. :\ Which I accepted.. and he sort of left me alone.. after i got a bf.. to respect me.. (honestly I wish I dated my bestfriend) and.. now.. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend after two years specifically for my bestfriend (this is breaking my boyfriend ... ex boyfriends heart... he's a really sweet guy.. and I feel awful..)

    Anyways.. I think me and my best friend have been destined.. and I would die if i never had a chance with him.. or I never gave him the chance. My advice.. if you love her.. keep her close.. dont distance yourselves. Show her you care.. but nonshalaunt like.. all casual. Tell her she's pretty (but not crewpy like) like of you two hang out say "your haor is REALLY beautiful.. when did this happen :P" (just kinda joke) always be there for her.. try and do things with her.. have reaaons for her to.come over and help you do some.. clean.. paint a bedroom.. go shopping.. etc. She'll eventually realise youre the guy for her.

    And if all else fails.. there's an infinite amount of beautiful young ladies.. who love sweet guys.. the only problem is.. is that sweet guys are too shy.. and never make the effort to say hi. You'll find a sexy girl to fill your desires sooner or later. ;)

  • totally agree with this comment im in that exact situation. ive been with my partner for 2 years and ive been in love with my bestie for almost 5 but he never asked me out. recently i cheated on my boyfriend with him but it was only a kiss. but now i cant atop thnkin about it. maybe ur best friend in this story is tryin to forget about the good times she had with u because maybe in her own mind she doesnt want to lose u as a friend and keeps pushing u away to resist temptation. sit her down and honestly tell her wat u want and how u feel. i told my best friend and he said he felt the same so u never know.

  • Sorry :\ I wrote that above..
    The grammar is horrible. I'm not illiterate.. my phone tends to be stupid a lot.

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