My boyfriend doesn't know I kissed my bestfriend
I am honestly, truly, deeply in love with my boyfriend of 2 years. Recently I went to my best guy friend's place for a house party... This is what happened.
We've been best friends for 4 years now (Longer than I've known my boyfriend.) A couple years ago he moved and he now lives a good distance from where I live, and I don't get to see him often. We still maintain our friendship and we've always been very close. I was invited to his house for a rather elaborate party, which of course, being as close as we are, I told him I would attend. Because there was going to be alcohol at the party, there would be no one to drive me back to my place, and so I would have to stay the night.
My boyfriend and I are very honest and open with each other, so of course, we spoke about it. But my boyfriend is a jealous man and he wasn't too fond of the idea of me staying at his place because of all the other men that would be at the party that he wouldn't know. But after much reassurance he accepted that it would be okay, because he trusts me and he knows that I trust my best friend to look out for me.
When I arrived at my friend's house, everything was going well, I called my boyfriend every few hours to assure him that everything was fine, and I promised him I wouldn't drink too much.
I hadn't eaten much that day and the alcohol got to me much quicker than I'd expected. I can normally tolerate a good amount of alcohol, but before I knew it I was stumbling all over the place. It just hit me so fast. My friend was by my side taking care of me. He insisted we go outside to get some fresh air to sober me up a little. He had just gone through a bad break up and he had also had a tad too much to drink.. We got talking outside his house and somehow ended up kissing.
Once I realized what I was doing I immediately stopped. I told him that he needed to stop because I loved my boyfriend. I took myself away from the party for the remainder of the night and spent about an hour on the phone with my man telling him how much I loved him with slurred speech until I fell asleep.
My friend and I talked about it and both agreed it was a mistake and our friendship is doing just fine. But my boyfriend doesn't know that this happened.. and I know it'll just break his heart if I told him. Especially how much reassuring I did for him that night.. and because I told him I'd never cheat on him in any way with any one.
I love my boyfriend.. but I feel terrible that now I have a secret with him. We tell each other everything and I feel like this is a stain on our otherwise clean relationship. Should I tell him? Or keep it to myself. I know it's only something small, but it tears me apart thinking about.