WHO AM I, ADAM OR EVE???
I want to share my feelings with someone, as u know it would be rather uncomfortable to share with a known person.Really I want to share.
As I ve started knowing about the world I came to know the real meaning behind the teasers aimed at me.....Or I'm not sure...they meant im not normal...Im a well educated n matured 24 yrs old guy...From my childhood to now,I face the society for its typical teasers aimed at my girlish behaviour....well initially I used to disregard their point...thought as I would grow i would behave as any other normal kid.My destiny was something else.As i grew up, i had to confront more with the teasers, making me more and more aggressive n stubborn to the point that my intuition started telling me that I should not change and I have to face them for what I am.
I was not sure what made me so different form others...alienating from my peers.....leading to forcifully accept their point.I ve decided to face this and go ahead and try to be as successful as others towards winning a girls heart.At times Im passionate and loving. Many girls like me, consider me as their best ones,said you make a good husband to any other girl.
I have tried and tried to win girls heart but loosing every time.I meant for a soul-partner.Meanwhile I started doing experiments with my orientation.Fortunately or unfortunately the desire for others (most of the time men) ended with fruit ful endings.
Slowly I started to develop a yearning for men.Enjoyed doing it and landed in a relationship with a hot guy (who had affairs with many hot girls) end of the day begging me to enter him.As I started manifesting the bond into a more intimate one, this time my ethics confronted me with their harsh reality of questioning my lifestyle. Finally I had to accept leading me only to a more confusing situation.
Yes, Im different, probably. I always had a notion of asking God, why did you do this to me?....Not that You made me different but the way I was raised, my religion, my family and my entire belief system everyone tells me to do the other way. you made me or I ve acquired girlish traits, only I and you know that I'm a man, now that though I want to lead a normal family life I can't as I my body bugs me for the other.
I always cherished that I would have a really happy family with 3 r 4 kidswith loads of fun and intimacy.I always longed to start a family of mine like everyone else .But how can I?...Can I properly nurture my kids?...If so what I have to preach them?..Do I stand as a good example for them?....My beliefs and values are different to those for what I am....What is the next big thing in my life, if I go-on?.........Now You say me that family happens with Adam and Eve.God, whom am I, Adam or Eve?....If I am Adam where's my Eve?