I'm guess it's not normal, only because I'm too ashamed to ask anyone else

Married gal. For 8+ years now. S** was always amazing! Especially in the beginning. Recently it's been lacking. Sooo, lately we have been enjoying "swinging". I have a guy I see on a semi regular basis. He had someone too before she went all fatal attraction.
So my fwb is Bi. And it is Such a HUGE turn on! He joined the Mr. and I in bed one night, and the thought always crossed my mind, what if... but since the Mr. is military know it would never happen, and I would never push him.
Ever since then, find myself watching gay p***. Weird, I know. And it's even more exciting watching military men in gay p***.
I've obviously told the fwb, but have decided Not to tell the Mr.
But now when fwb and I hook up, we'll always talk dirty and tell one another what we would like to do should another guy ever join us(which I doubt, but still huge turn on).
I feel so aroused and excited when it all starts, after reaching climax, I feel guilty and dirty.

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