I just feel so f****** depressed all the time. I told my councillor that I would never committ suicide, things have changed. I wish I was never born. The smallest things build up and trigger the depression off. I will just start crying once I get home from school. Everyone thinks I'm not the sort of person to cry and they just tell me to get over it, "you're an attention seeker", "your an emo", "just stop your crap". You f****** know what? NONE OF THE PEOPLE I CALLED MY FRIENDS ACTUALLY GIVE A F***. They don't understand that when I vent that I am trying to reach out for help, then they push me too far and I just want to over-dose. It may not sound very bad at all eh? You have no idea, my house was broken into as a child, I was by-myself and had to hide. My parents swear and fight and yell at each other, my dad sometimes hits my mother. My mother has alcohol issues and has had a terrible life, which she vents to me, then which I have no one to turn to. I don't talk to my dad much, he seems, out of place. My family seems to dislike me, they don't know the real me. My "friends" ditch me and I never hang out with many people anymore. Guys will always be my bestfriends, yet I feel bad always dumping my crap on them. I don't get many boyfriends. I feel like everyone hates me. They would all forget me. I'm not special or talented. Today was the worst, I woke up in a s*** mood, my parents kept waking me up, I get angry easily, and I throw stuff and just try to ignore everything. There is too much to explain. But I came home, wanting to pierce myself, listening to screamo music and then now im digging into my wrists with the edge of some sharp plastic. I feel empty and dead, my parents dont like me hanging out with boys. I want everything I can't have, I hate everything about myself, everything is unenjoyable. I just want to lay here and rot away. I want to do drugs, drink, smoke, s*** around, then die. I just want to turn bad. F*** the grades, f*** the future, f*** the world. I just wish I was never born, god made someone who wasn't worth it.

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  • Even if it seems like people don't care, just remember: There's always someone who does. You are worth it, and you are amazing. Everyone is special, and though I'm sure you've heard that a million times, it's true. If you can get through this, you have your whole life ahead of you. Do something wonderful with it, you can be great.
    ~Lia Smith.

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