I lost my virginity at fourteen. At the time I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I never wanted to lose my virginity to him, we were just experementing until before I knew it he stuck it in. It was painful and I hated it. Before I knew it word got around and the attention I got was unbelievable. I liked it. Two more guys later and I felt popular, pretty, undefeatable. A couple months later I went to a party, I was fifteen, I met a guy there. We started to fool around, untill I realised he was taking advantage of me. I was raped that night. I felt so used, so unloved. I found another guy at the party who I thought could make me feel pretty again, I slept with him. Two in one night, I cried the next day. Months later I found a guy who I thought loved me, he hit it and quit it. Now I'm sixteen, I realised what I did, and I can't let it go. I'm disqusted. I hate myself and everyone else does too.