I like you

I think I have a crush on the pastors son. His name is Ben, I don't know if I like him or if I just find him attractive sexually but I'm always thinking about him. I feel like there's always tension when we talk and literally I have to hold myself back to not just kiss him right there wherever we are. I don't know what to do because the more I get to know him the more I think I like him, he tells me stuff and it makes me feel like we're getting closer, which we are. But then, of course, he's the pastors son, and he can't date. So he's kind of...unavailable I guess. He told me liked me before but I just can't be sure if he does now because sometimes he talks to me and sometimes he doesn't and ugh just f*** this and f*** being a girl and liking people. Life's so complicated.

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