I didn't care bout 9/11. I was ten years old and had no idea what the world trade center was; I had been to New York once, a million years ago, and didn't know anybody who knew anybody who knew anybody who knew anybody in New York.
My reaction was something like, "Oh, a bunch of people died? A bunch of people die all the time. A bunch of people are dying in Mexico right now, but you don't care because they aren't Americans." The fear, paranoia and craziness that followed 9/11 was extremely annoying. No one was ever going to invade my hometown; it's not even on the f****** map. Yet everyone was afraid of a terrorist attack, as if our citizens weren't a million times more dangerous than any terrorist.
I grew up in a rough neighborhood which meant, at ten years old, I already had a few friends who were in gangs and addicted to drugs. If I was old enough to go to war, I definitely wouldn't have, because I had my own problems and I didn't have time to deal with SOMEONE ELSE'S blood vendetta when I already had some of my own.
Whenever I hear that someone knew someone who died in 9/11, I think the same thing I think when I hear anyone has died. I think, "oh, that sucks," and I move on with my life. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I cry for days, weeks, if I knew the person or if I could relate to the victim. Then I f****** move on.
I have never killed anyone. I will never kill anyone. Like I said, I grew up in a rough neighborhood, and I have seen my share of horrible death and violence (which I do not want and have never wanted to be a part of). When my friend was shot by a gang member, I did not retaliate against the gang, for many reasons. One, the entire gang was not responsible, only one person was. Two, I don't want to kill anyone or torture anyone even if I did think about doing those things, because I believe doing so would kill my soul like it has killed the souls of my street-soldier friends who fight for drugs instead of oil; the only reason I would ever kill anyone is if they were about to kill me or my friends RIGHT THE F*** NOW and had the knife to my throat and everything, if they were running towards me with a gun. Even then, I don't know if I could really do it. And three, because the guy who shot my friend has a s***** f****** life and is probably dead by now anyway.
Look, if our country got invaded tomorrow, if a crazy stereotypical Arab guy got on my bus tomorrow morning as I was going to the grocery store and pulled out a gun, he would have to deal with me and all the other gang-affiliated people on that f****** bus. Period. America is really dangerous. It's so dangerous that a privileged white family can have a child, send it to public school and by the end of a fifth grade year it will have more gang connections than it can count on its tiny hands.
Please stop annoying me with your stupid, pathetic, uncalled-for fear, okay? Please. Stop telling your kids about this random thing that happened eleven years ago. I don't tell YOU guys about every time my friends die. This is the first time I've ever f****** mentioned it to someone who didn't already know it happened. I don't tell you to fear the people who wear blue, even though the people who wear blue have shot, stabbed, robbed, beaten, raped a lot of my friends and on one occasion, me.
Your fear is silly. Pathetic. Stupid. Childish. Ignorant. Annoying. The world is dangerous. People kill people. And in the case of 9/11, people killed people you probably didn't f****** know and had no chance of ever meeting. Sad? Yes. Worthy of a violent reaction? I've learned that nothing is. I've learned from all the violence and death and destruction I have seen in my short life that violence will destroy your soul. It will disappear from the eyes of a soldier only to flicker back to life occasionally when he forgets the horrible things he's done.
I'm saying this anonymously because I know the stupid, foolish, childish, reactionary, ignorant, selfish response I will get if I say it aloud. Probably the same response I would get from my red-wearing friends if I told them they didn't have to hate the blue people.