I hate my stepson w/ a passion! His

I came across this forum by chance while desperately searching for anyone else out there that may be feeling the same way as I. My experience with step kids so far has been a very negative one despite my best intentions. Unfortunately the biological sperm donor, the "father" (term used loosely here), does not live very far away and is the "cool" dad with little or no rules in his home. How can anyone compete with this? About to lose our second one to this reprobate. Anybody else experience this?

I looked this topic up and could not believe the number of web sites out there on this topic. I met my husband when my stepson was ten and tried to be a parent to him as his mother was out of the picture. I was met with hate and this was encouraged by his aunt who is very evil (a woman who has no family or friends except my stepson). Long story short life was ** he assaulted my husband and did 6months in juvenile jail. When he was 18 he moved out to live with his aunt, he did some jail time for drugs ect. My husband has been tring to help him. Then about a year ago he assulted me in the backyard of our home when I went out to have my morning coffee. The police were called because he knocked me out with a punch to the face. The DA insisted on having him arrested and pressing charges. He denied everything and it has taken us a whole year to get the DA to drop the charges (my husband could not bear to see his son go to jail). Now my husband is still tring to help him, he is a 25 year old dropout who lives with his aunt and plays video games and smokes pot all day. His aunt supports him as he has never worked a day in his life and she would do anything to hang on to him (it is so strange and people have even commented on the weird relationship they have, not natural). So thats where it stands and I amafraid if things do not change and my husband does not cut him loose I will have to cut myself loose.

I feel the same way. My step-son is very young too but just looking at him makes me want to just "strangle him" (cause he looks alot like his mom and i hate her) Another reason is that he cries for EVERYTHING.. if he eats, HE CRIES. If he takes a bath HE CRIES. If his dad is not around HE CRIES.. it irritates the heck out of me,, i just want to yell at him sometimes and be like "SHUT UP!" My boyfriend and I have a baby together and were thinking of getting married.. but realizing how much i hate him made me think that being tied to him and his son isn't such a fun idea to think about... I'm so glad for this website... Obviously i don't tell my boyfriend and i have kept it to myself I'm so glad i can discuss it here and not be judged. I don't know if i should tell him i don't like him though... I just wish he never existed but at the same time i wish i had never gotten with my boyfriend in the first place... just looking at my stepsons face, and having to deal with his mother a psychopath makes me regret the whole thing....

Geez, I read this and thought it was something I wrote!!! You have described by situation exactly. The little piece of ** cries over EVERYTHING. It doesn't matter what I say to him, the little ** cries about it and runs to his mother saying I'm being mean. I realize I sound like a rude angry person while venting, but there is no exaggeration in what I'm saying here. Even she is getting sick of it now that he is 6 years old. It's disgusting to watch him ask her to feed him and use baby talk, or be overly-needy and to hang off of her until she eventually tells him to settle down. He cries when he wakes up, he cries when he's asked to eat, he cries taking a bath, he cries getting dressed, etc. etc. He just ** cries all the ** time and acts like a little **. I'm ready to find a tall building and just throw him off the roof. We have our own son together who is truly a joy and isn't the needy little ** that my step-** is. At age 2 he is independent beyond other 2 year olds, doesn't whine, eats when asked to and doesn't ** about it, is already 80% potty trained, and acts like a mature 4 or 5 year old. Even he yells at the step-** in his little 2 year old voice and tells him to stop crying because it annoys the ** out of him. He doesn't even know what he's crying about half the time. The only time he shuts up is when he can play his stupid video games. I can't stand the sight of his stupid **' face. I just plain hate this kid and wish the next time his father takes him for a weekend or week that he would just keep him, or they had some unfortunate industrial accident and they don't survive. I know I sound awful, but that's just how much I can't stand this kid. I'm noticeably happy when he's gone. I can't even hide the difference and make no attempt at it anymore. His level of intelligence is appallingly low, he is incapable of doing anything for himself, and the things he can do he cries about. Is there a bin I can just leave him in?

My stepson is the same way and I ** hate him. Sometimes I wish I could just punch him in the face and throw him out the window like a ** psycho lunatic! I hate that I feel this way and I have tried so many times to change my feelings towards him. I hate his face, the way he sounds, the things that he does, and most of all his ** constant crying and screaming. If I hear him breathe, it ** me off. Needless to say, I have to find my way out of this situation. It's awful...
Judge away.. I won't be reading the responses.

I understand you!!! I ** hate my stepson and pray that he just goes away. Dies, whatever. I wish him dead so i can have a baby. He's a piece of ** and a ** mistake. Go to ** you ** **.

Wow. Interesting posts. Despite best intentions, this idea that blended families can work is, simply bogus.

I disagree. If people can make an effort to put aside their petty jealous feelings and think more about the needs of the step family members blended families can work. My grandfather married my grandmother when she already had three kids and they had four more together and stayed together until he died nearly 50 years later. I'm not saying things were perfect. An example of rocky times was when my grandfather and my uncle who is not was not his biological son went through a terrible period of resentment and bitterness when my uncle was a teenager. But later the two of them got along even better than my grandfather did with his own children. They even passed out drunk in a car once one in the front one in the back so as to not catch ** from my grandmother for drinking.

at least one of the chics here said that she hates her stepson and that is nothing more than petty selfishness and resentment of the fact that he is the child of her boyfriend or husbands ex. It's a classic case of jealousy and wanting him out of the way. He probably knows now that he is not wanted in his home and this will certainly cause behavioral problems. If this woman was treated like the meg griffen of the house she would probably lash out or cry more often too. He will not forget about the fact that he wasn't wanted or loved as a child and will likely grow up to resent his father and the cruel ** who hated him just because he existed. "I'm sorry" will not be enough to heal these wounds.

I don't think it's ALL jealousy. I think that kids became parents, and there's no REAL parenting anymore. Kids run the roost now because parents are too spineless to lay down rules and enforce them. Because it's "easier" just to "end it" rather than make them learn the lesson and deal with it once and for all. It might take time, but that's where the real learning is. The facts remain that there are children that ARE garbage, and you can see how many examples of this truth above.

All I can say is being a stepparent, is like growing up to be a drug addicted, ** on the street: you never think it will happen to you. And when it does it is a lifevchanging situation, that you can never prepare yourself for. Oh, how amazing it would have been to have gotten an intelligent, interesting, well behaved contribution to the family.... instead I got ole "dur dur dur." He has no mental handicap, besides being an idiot. For the love of god, I have to remind him to brush his teeth, or button his pants. There is no way this child will ever be a productive member of society, and I try to tutor and educatre him. He does that fantastically disrespectful thing, where he looks me dead in the eyes, and listens to ABSOLUTELY nothing I say. ** brat. Well stepparents, I will tell you, there was a point where I almost gave up and left, I had convinced myself that this imbecile's happiness was more important than mine and he could have his father to himself (this was after he tried to have me arrested by lying and saying I forced him to drink alcohol) and during these final stages of mental emotional and physical breakdown I sat with DH and told him what I needed to be happy, and that a life with him and SS was not going to ever work, SS could never change his sociopsthic anti-social behavior (drowning my kitten in the washer, kicking and throwing my chihuahuas, threatening to stab family members with knife in hand) wished them both the best, and confessed that I love him, and nothing will ever change that. Well sometimes DH is smart enough to see how hard you tried, and wont let his child ruin his or someone elses life. I am now happily 5 months pregnant, and only havr stepson one or twice a month, much better than the original 6 days a week. Surely, if the person you love, loves you in return, knows you entered the relationship with understanding of their situstion(an open mind and open heart) they will choose you and your happiness.

If you were treated like the meg griffen of the house you would act out too. I guess your a woman but if you were a man I would tell you that if I ever met you on the street I would rip your spinal cord out of your back and strangle you with it, and if your stepson grows up to be no good it will be because he was raised to believe he was no good.

You know what. ** You I'm a man and the stepfather of a piece of worthless shot boy like these women are describing and until you have walked a mile in our shoes don't be so quick to judge.

Amen! Sorry to hear you know the struggle all too well.

**.

I know this feeling all too well.... I have a fifteen month old and I swear I don't trust his older half demon brother for one moment with him alone... I have seen him trip him, fold his arms behind his back and leap over his head almost landing on him.... this is all in front of me. He is 11 years old and old enough to know better!! I witnessed him making a comment to his Grandmother because she asked for a photo together with her Grandsons... and His Comment was GGRANDSONNSS???? OH YEAH THANKS TO DAD!!! I was so appauled by this comment which by the way he didn't smile in the photo and it just stuck with me... What makes this worst for me is the older child is the golden-child and my son was completely ignored and I mean walked right by like he wasn't even there, all bc the older child may feel some type of way or If we don't work out?? If we move away and they get close to the child?? really that sounds very weak!! and a very poor excuse to me.... regardless I found it a blessing in the end and it just made it all that more eazier, I don't want my son around people who could do this in the first place... and since they don't wanna treat grandchildren as equals they are no longer apart of our lifes....
The older Child comes from a troubled life His Mother is in and out of jail drugs, theft and more or less a no body! he has been through the court system and has prob seen more than any child his age should....
He plays the victim very well and manipulates situations to only benefit him..... He is extremely jealous of his younger brothers blue eyes and nice ears.... where he has dark eyes and big HUGE DUMBO ears that drift downward or flop....I have never mistreated this child bc I know I'm the adult however I count the days til he is 18 and or hope and pray his mother cleans up her act! He is very disrespectful and lies about everything...My Fear is I will have the same problems with my son bc of his Actions.... and I rather have him out of my house before this

Wow all the tough guys on here who are anon.

As a step father who's tried to love and care for a vile little ** who starts fires, ** all over towels, floors and in baths, wipes his own ** down the walls, steals, vandalises, attacks girls, I can say it's not all the step parents fault for feeling hate.

You live with the above (plus much, much more) for years on end before you show hostility toward those wishing harm. You wont be able to help it in the end. Comes naturally.

Wow.
That horrible you're going through that.
Kid sounds like a psychotic **.
*hugs*
2015epicfail@gmail.com if you want to vent.
I would love to vent to others

Oh my gosh... Most of you sound like murderers and sociopaths, wishing harm on a family member?? Yikes. I've seen posts about drowning your stepchild or wanting them dead. Psycho!!!!! Get the professional help you clearly need. So sad and pitiful.

Obviously you don't have a horrid stepkid. I hope mine gets hit by a Mack truck so I can have a normal life

** yea me too that's exactally how I feel

+1, me too

Me too!

Stepmoms, I am a stepmom too. I found this page because I was looking for some written material to help me deal with my stepsons, 18 and 20. I have no kids of my own but have adopted my late bother's son, who is 18 now. My other stepson is very materialistic and demands expensive cellphone from us (my husband and I). Off cause I suggested a cheaper phone. Then he wrote on his Whatsapp status that "I am pretending to love them for the sake of my husband to think so, and that he doesn't love me either. He actually concluded by saying 'I hate you'. Obviously, I am very hurt. My husband reprimanded him and told him to leave if he is not happy. Me, I continue to do everything that I was doing for these boys before. I don't hate him at all, and wishes that he could see that I do care. What do I do. Obviously, he does talk to me when he wants money.

18 and 20??? Kick the ** out of your house!!!

Exactly! ** self-righteous ** those people are spewing when they have no idea. I doubt any of us would be saying these things (maybe a few exceptions) without ** good reason. Because, exactly! It is a kid. No one WANTS to feel this way. But they've earned it.

I was married to a ** for 29 years who hated my son from the very beginning of our marriage (he was just 4 years old) for no good reason other than he wasn't hers. i should have divorced her the same day but I tried to work it out because it was my second marriage. That was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it more than anything. So I don't have any compassion for any hateful women who trash their stepkids. Why don't you try being a mother to them as you would if you had given birth to them. You did sign up for the job when you married the dad. Women who always play the victim are most often the inflicter of pain to the people in their lives, not the other way around.

Maybe because your children are brats and disrespectful.

Whom on God's green earth would ever subject themselves to this abnormal,dysfunctional behavior? Seriously.

IF your kid is stupid, he or she will be hated by the step mom. I hat emy step kids too. Men with kids shoudl never marry and make some one else life miserable

Your a moron...you try putting up with other peoples kids. If your son would of been the bio kid to your ex he wouldnt be a loser and a weirdo. The dads dont see the kid is weird because of some quilt they have about leaving the bio mom. Look around I bet your kid is a weird.

When I read your post, I wondered if some day my husband would hate me too. Not all women are like that. My stepson (I have 3 stepsons) somehow learned early on how to manipulate his father. I had compassion at first because the boys lost their mother and wanted so much to help. I know I am a good mother but this now 15 year old thing dominates our home. He has made up lies on me to his father, he has faked sick all the way to the hospital with the bills to follow only to find the prescription medication being hidden under his bed. I have an awesome relationship with the other 2 stepsons and I feel terrible even saying it but I borderline hate this kid. And in return it's making me crazy and hate myself. There is no help for this kid. He's a master liar and manipulator and I'm living a nightmare. I no longer leave my coffee sitting on the counters in the morning because he was caught spitting in my cup last year. My husband thinks this kid is king of all and does nothing to discipline him. I am filing for divorce next week. Not because I don't love my husband, but because I hate his monster son!

Your son is probably a piece of ** loset. Don't blame the woman blame your ** son.

** off.

Bet your son was an **.
Mist people would not feel this way towards kids if they weren't irritating **.

That's why you are alone and ...your son ** just face it!

I've had a few different step dads and most were big jerks!!!!

The fact that you had a few different stepdads goes a long way in showing where your problem really is...your mom. Good luck with that...

#preach

Did it every occur to you that you were most likely treated like ** because you were and continue to be a piece of **? They didn't stick around because you and your mom are pathetic morons. The difference is your mom could probably ** ** like she had a PHD in ** so they stayed around long enough until they got sick of you both.

It is funny that the adults posting on here are probably just as bad, if not worse than the teenagers they are talking about. For God's sakes people, you are ADULTS! Do you remember being a teenager? Life ** at that age, no matter what, and it is hard for any teen to deal with a "new" parent in their home. Teenagers make big ** deals out of dumb **, and it is our responsibility as adults, to be the bigger person! Do all of you people think you are helping the situation by being ** to your step-children? What kind of position does that put your spouse in? Maybe you should be more sensitive to teen issues, and either leave, or ** it up until they are grown! Grow the ** up!

Have you been in the situation? Marrying the woman you love and one if her two kids turning out to be a monster? No? Didnt think so. So dont tell people to grow the ** up when you have no idea whats its like to have your perfect marriage ruined by some brat you wish would just get lost ti their other biological parent........**.

People, especially children, are a product of their environment .

TAKE A LOOK AROUND.

I agree with you. My marraige is ruined by my freaking step children. They are evil and they wish me dead. They actually told me that and I have been so good to them. They hate me because their mom is a loser and can't take care of them. They live with us 100% of the time and I can't stand the face of them. GOD.... HELP ME!!!

U must not have stepkids, u dont have a clue then wat sum of these pple are going threw. im sure one day u will eat the words, "maybee you should be more sensitive to teen issues, and either leave, or ** it up until they are grown." please open ur ** eyes and we will grown the ** up. thank you.

I understand your response, but if you live in a house that as soon as your husband leaves and the stepson starts acting out....life isn't great. I will not leave because I love my husband and PUT HIM FIRST. My stepson will not live with us forever, thank god, but I will live with my husband for the rest of my life. I knew that when I said yes. It is a package deal that has a time limit. But I will not take dishonesty, disrespect, and plain out erratic behavior in MY home just because he doesn't like that I rule MY HOUSE. I feed him, clothe him, make sure he is hygenic, take him to his doc appt, makes sure he is doing well in school, and most importantly, dicipline when Dad isn't here. That is what he doesn't like. I can honestly say I love him a little, care a bunch, but definately dislike him. I will not be talked down to as if I am a friend or his B.M., yelled at because he is "upset" or had a bad day, or told off because he thinks he is right. No...I will not accept that. His father doesn't either. He knows the consequences to his behavior and more importantly, know right from wrong. Being a teenager allows minor forgivings but that does not give him an excuse for everything. This is what I was taught as a teenager as well and if I didn't act this way I think I would be doing more of a disservice to him then not acting at all. It **...I wish I had a better relationship with him and have tried and tried and tried....but he is the one at fault now....No...I will not take responsibility for his actions anymore. He will realize OUR behavior when he has his own kids, hopefully. Untill then...I will continue keeping on, one day at a time. Good luck to all with conflicts like this...sure isn't easy.

Wow...I was reading some of the posts here and was drawn to respond to this one post here telling parents to remember how they were as teens and grow the ** up. Well, let me tell you a little something, some of the issues that I have had the agony of going through with my step son would cause you to slit your wrists. I understand teen issues but some of us are not bothered by theses mere drama queens and their issues, but moreso regarding their lack of learning any form of discipline and respect.
Allow me to explain. I meet my boyfriend about 7 years ago and my ss was 17 at the time. I can understand his apprehension when we met but the first moment I was alone with this teen, he proceeded to tell me with an evil grin that he has his father by the ** and that I should count the days until his dad uses me and dumps me. My jaw dropped ! As the years went by, I did my best in becoming his friend as I had no desire in being his second mother. I also had no plans in 'stealing' his dad from him.
This little ** made liking him very difficult. Thankfully he only came to MY house 2x a week for the weekends. Despite my best efforts and the embarrased feelings of hatred I had building, i never let it show and helped this ungrateful idiot as best I could and treated him like my own. As he grew older he continue with this despicable behavior and never once thanked my now fiance and I for all we have done for him. Allow me to add that we have done more for him than his mother ever has. Funny enough, when he would be in trouble or in financial strain, he would always call me. This teen is now 22 going on 23 and I am no longer embarrased to say that I hate this man. He takes 0 responsability, thinks the world owes him everything and is ungrateful. So before you go on stating that we, as adults should grow up, you should feel blessed not to nave to deal with a little ** like this. Contrary to some here, my fiancee always backed me and feels the same way I do

neither do i s.s

i adore ur thought shrink,but not on above coments.

All you people who said you would choose your kid are the real idiots. In psychology you learn that you should choose your spouse over your kid. It's not that you neglect the child for the spouse, or that you allow the spouse to abuse the kid, but you have to remember a couple of things. For one that child will always be your child. Whether they are mad at your or not. And second the if you have a half way smart child they will grow up get married and start their own lives and then you will be more of an after thought. Then you will become like the kid, bugging your child to come and see you and things of that nature while they are living life up. That's how alot of people end up alone.

Plus one of the most important ways to break the kid from rebelling is to sit down with them and tell them that this is how it's going to be. You shouldn't let your kids run your life or relationship. You are the adult, you know what's best not the child. So what if they don't like the fact that you are remarried. Until they pay bills in your house or become the main provider they don't have a say. You have to back up the stepparent and let them and the kid know that you have the spouses back as long as the spouse is acting right. I think parents today give kids way too much power over their lives. Yes love your kids cherish them but don't let them run your life.

SiteShrink

OMG, I love yoru comment and I 100% agree. I wished I could email this to my husband.

I fully agree with Site Shrink if my husband would have stepped up and done something about his sone when he was stealing from school and my parents. Or maybe when he went and told his mom I treat him bad and he didn't want to around me( later finding out all because I made him finish his cereal and he wasn't hungry, or when he got bust for lookng at ** at age 9 and I took his itouch away for not knowing how to use it obvious, or everytime that he cries to get out of trouble. If my husband woul dhave had my back during all of this maybe I wouldn't have so much hate towards my stepson. Maybe I wouldn't cringe and his very site. Maybe then I would want him to have his son a little more, then for him to stick to the parenting plan which were up to me I would reduce even more visitation. How do I even start on his ex, who was fine with the idea of me being in her sons life until I got pregnant, then made he son not only hate my but my daughter. And now I am pregnant with my first son, and the first thing she puts in my stepsons head is I am trying to replace him. If my husband would man up and put his foot down along time ago I know we wouldn't be in the same place as now. Thnking about splitting up before baby #3 arrives because since my pregnancy things with his son and ex have rocketed out of control and I feel it isn't heathly for me or my other children.

I just wanted to let everyone who has step parenting issues that there is a great site out there for you! Its www.cafemom.com. You have to register and join the group called "step parenting". You can get advice, vent, whatever. I love it!