I made th worst mistake ever

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. He is 20 I am 19. I love this man with all my heart and I just recently found out he was a virgin when we started dating which makes what I did even
worse. I do wsh to marry this guy someday.the other night while I was drinking not drunk tho which would explain what i did but I was just tipsy. I knowingly had a threesome with his brother and his brothers girlfriend while my bf was at.work. I know I will never tell him but can I live with the guilt.I have been fked up by both of my fathers and countless guys. And I have promised myself I will never cheat on him again

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  • "by you not telling him, you will only make it worst," This statement is very true. Guilt is knowing you have done something that contradicts who you are. You've had, sounds like, quite a few c**** in you, since becoming sexual. Why can't you just write this off as just another c*** to add to the list? Because there's the element of deceit or betrayal. Almost always, if we do something that could hurt someone we care about or love, if they were to know, we'll feel guilty because of that probability.

    What you did causes guilt, but we're programmed with a way of releasing guilt, and being free, which is forgiveness. But you must own up to your boyfriend, and ask for it. Then you must forgive yourself as well. IF NOT this pain and guilt will grow. It's as if our programming doesn't allow us to deceive those we love, without feeling that affect of our actions.

    Now, I'm not as worried about what you did, as much as I am to why you did it? You knew what you were doing, so I ask, do you have that low of a self esteem to allow yourself to ruin what you really want, in order to get off in the moment? I think the being f***** by your fathers has destroyed your sense of self, that you see yourself as having to please others, even if it costs you by doing so. For you to be faithful, you must see yourself as being worthy of doing so. In that, I mean, respect yourself to be respected. Love yourself to be loved. Because you will be treated by others to the extent that you view yourself, and what you deserve.

    Owning what you did. Taking responsibility for it and telling your boyfriend is the ONLY way to be free. What you don't want to do is keep this secret, let the guilt build, then marry him, because the foundation of your marriage will begin with deceit. Any foundation that has cracks in it, will eventually collapse.

  • by you not telling him, you will only make it worst, please if you want to save him, don't marry him...
    you dont want to cheat on him again, yet you are lying to him and have already backstabbed him
    He WILL find out one day, the closer he gets to you, he will find the truth
    its better to let it out and see what happens, he may forgive you and move on
    than to let it grow into something worst and hurt him constantly

  • You know, the church has this thing pretty much called 'second chance virginity'. If you are truly sorry and won't do it again until marriage then you can still be a 'virgin'

  • I agree, second chance virginity? Can't happen. It's metaphorical and not factual. Once she's had a p**** in her, her virginity is gone, and for a church to state otherwise, is to put their law above God. I'd be weary about attending any church who promotes things like this, which contradict scripture. The Bible says, there will be demons in the churches, and this could be an example of that.

  • She can be forgiven, of course, But she can never be a virgin again.

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