I attacked my boyfriend
I have been distraught all day. I am a truly horrific person. I am an alcoholic with anger issues, and last night when drinking I beat up my partner. My amazing, wonderful boyfriend, all in a drunken rage. It was like another person attacking him- I turned into a monster. I helped him call the police on me when I calmed down and gave myself up immediately to the police, and accepted the charge of ABH, with a caution. I deserve to die.
I have never cried so much or felt as worthless and like a piece of crap like this. What I did was truly horrendous, and I love him so much.
I have had drinking problems all my life, but now, I am going to face them. I am ot ashamed to be an alcoholic anymore, because standing up and getting help to stop drinking full stop will be the best decision I will ever make. Drink has controlled me too much, and I need to take my life back from the dangerous thug I have become.
I have written lengthy apology letters to him, his family, his social worker, and his friend there on the night. I don't expect anyone to ever respect or trust me ever again. But for him, and mostly for myself, I will move mountains, and change around completely. I promise this.
I am not a monster, I am a human, and I will live my life with honour. This was a horrific mistake.
Thank you for reading this.
I love you Max, and you deserve so much better- you are the perfect man.