Asthma Fetish?

I feel weird confessing this even though I admitted it to two of our friends last night and couldn't fully explain it to them because I didn't know how. My boyfriend's asthma turns me on. I don't know why, it's been like that since I first met him. I call it a fetish, but it doesn't apply to anyone but him.

I don't know what I like about it or why, it's not like I have an asphyxiation fetish - I don't want him to actually suffocate, but something about the concept of struggling to breathe and wheezing fascinates me. But the more I ask him to wheeze for me or delay using his inhaler, the more I realize this could all cause complications with his health in the future. He even stopped using his other inhaler which usually prevents his asthma from flaring up.

He fully agrees to it all, and insists that he would never push himself beyond his limit...but one afternoon he did push his limit to the point that it scared me. He explains his asthma to me in stages, 1 through 5, 5 being literally suffocating, and one day he decided to push it to what he claimed was 4.8 then refused to take his inhaler because he "wanted to make me happy" until I practically forced it on him.

He hasn't done that since, but recently with the weather changing because of how often he's been pushing himself, he's been having more difficulty with his lungs or having to use his inhaler more frequently. In fact, because he also has allergies and they've been acting up as well, he went though a whole inhaler last night and it didn't make any difference, he still couldn't breathe properly; told me today he 'hasn't taken a full breath in twenty-four hours'.

I tell him to use his other inhaler because it would stop all this, but he "wants to make me happy". Am I a bad person for starting all this to begin with? Or does it seem okay because he's in agreement with it?

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  • I find myself drawn to asthmatics as well

  • I understand where you're coming from. I have this same preference. My girlfriend has asthma, and I shared this with her. She was actually thrilled that I didn't think it was a turn off. We had some very interesting conversations on what I found sexy about her asthma.

    What you said, about struggling to breathe and wheezing, fascinates me too. It's such a strange concept, since I take breathing for granted.

    I told her all of this, as well as experiences I'd love to share with her during an attack. For instance, I would love to just cuddle with her and gently rub her chest during an asthma flare. I would especially love to press my ear to her chest and listen to her wheeze. The sight of her heaving bosom would make me melt.

    I made it a point to read up on asthma and learn as much as I could. I know how potentially dangerous and terrifying an asthma attack can be. I also know how expensive their medications can be.

    No, you're not a bad person. We like what we like, and there is literally someone out there for everyone. You were just curious. As for what to do in this case, I really can't say. All I can do is share my experience.

    Right off the bat, I told her that I would just be happy to enjoy the asthma flares she naturally has. For me, and these are just my personal values, asking her to stop taking her meds, prolong an attack, or give herself an attack, is crossing the line. I care about her, and don't want her to suffer anymore than she already is. That's the key point. At the very least, an asthma flare is uncomfortable. At the worst, it can be fatal.

    Your boyfriend has serious guts. Pushing himself to a 4.8 like that is serious business. I can't imagine many asthmatics would be willing to do that for someone. At the end of the day, if you love someone, you want to keep that person around. If your boyfriend keeps testing his asthma like this, there is a very real possibility that one of his attacks may be his last. I don't mean to scare you, but that is the reality.

    If you want him to stop, let him know that enjoying his company and keeping him alive and healthy would make you even happier. As I said, even with the other inhaler, he'll still have the occasional flare, and you can enjoy them without putting him at additional risk.

    By the way, a friend of mine told me about you confession. That's how I made it here. He is into BDSM and had an interesting view on the subject. He wondered if this type of fetish could be analogous to "breath play" in BDSM. I might have to read up on the subject.

    I hope things work out between you and your man, and that you enjoy many safe, wheezy years together :).

    P.S. I cannot stand the word, "fetish." Far too often, people use it with negative or judgmental intent. They toss it around carelessly, without truly even knowing what the word means. I know it definitely does not apply to me. That's why I prefer to use the word, "preference," instead.

    Some people prefer blondes. Others prefer brunettes. Me? I prefer girls who wear glasses and have asthma. Why bother asking why? You'd have about as much luck asking someone why he/she prefers redheads hahaha! Just live authentically, and enjoy every moment of it.

  • i feel the same way and have this fetish too

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