Trapped In A Twelve Year Olds Body And Hormones
I'm a 12 year old girl. I look 17 or 18. I fall in love with guys waaayyy older then me. Sometimes even double my age. I old like 3 guys my age but alot of girls my age. Today I kissed a friend of mine, who is a girl, randomly at school today. When ever I date someone 2 years old younger than me I feel guilty like I know it wouldn't work out ever. Everyday I feel like I should have been born in 1993-1994. I live in a 12 year olds world. But I'm not one I'm way more meture. My soul feels like I'm trapped, which is my biggest fear being trapped. Somedays I just want to end it all and kill myself. The only time I feel normal is when I'm not with kids 2 or below years than me. I love and older man... we say that we love the other face to face. But I think I want it to mean more than he does. I have B36 size b****, curves, emo/scene hair really pretty poofy, I have pink long nails, eye makeup and face makeup. I don't feel at all like a 12 year old girl. I feel like a 17 year old, and when my lover moves on next year... I don't think I could find someone else like him. But I'm such a little slutty w**** I'll probably get someone that hurts me emotionally and physically agian. I hate this much I cut and cut and I used to barf. My self harming is getting worse. But sometimes I can't physically even get a little blood. I want to die.