Yes or no?

Sorry it's so long but I need help D:

Okay, so...I'm in grade nine, nearly grade 10 and 14 years old. I've never had a boyfriend. This guy likes me , a lot. He's not the best looking but personality is what counts. He can be soo sweet and caring, sometimes a showoff but funny, and so on. Not many people like him at school, even some of my friends don't like him. They find him to be really annoying but I dont really get annoyed easily so I don't see what they're so fussed about.

He asked out a few times in the past and I kept saying maybe, but it would always lead to a no as I felt that I wasn't ready yet for a relationship. We're really good friends and would stay up all night talking to each other.... sooo kinda like friends with benefits. In the past I was stupid and lead him on too much so when he asked me out and I still said no, he got really mad.

I apologized many many times, I know it was wrong. He did forgive me and we went back to that friends with benefits stage without knowing it. Now, just recently we went on a school camp and he did the sweetest thing and bought me a necklace. He put it on for me and then asked me out there on the spot. I panicked and said maybe again. It's been about 2 weeks now and I still haven't decided -.-

I think I like him, but I'm not sure. Many many people at school have said to me that I should say yes. But what makes this situation even worse is that one of my good friends has a huge crush on him. She is really nice and is a true friend as she has said to me that she shouldn't get in the way of my decision and that she is fine with me saying yes because she knows it would make him happy and that's all she wants.

Some days I'm like 'Just go for it, he is a sweet guy that makes you smile and be happy. And everyday you check to see if he's at school or not and you get really happy when he sits with us at lunch, you have to have a crush on him, what else is it?!? You never know, you could end up falling head over heels for him later down the track if you say yes? '. And other days I'm like 'Well....I don't really like him that much, do I? Besides, my friend deserves him so much more'. So... Yes or no?

Oh and another thing is I'm scared to tell my parents if I do say yes. My mum knows he likes me a lot but doesn't actually know anything about the guy. She has said in the past casually 'don't break his heart'. Is that a hint?

Thank you so much if you read this all <3
I know it's way too long. D:

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  • Thank you so much for replying! It means a lot.

    Yeah, you're probably right about my friend starting to resent me. Lately she's been acting a little distant towards me, but I understand and don't blame her honestly.

    Thank you, and yeah I would never deliberately try and play games with him. I have done some thinking and have come to realize that I don't like him enough to go out with him. I should have known this earlier. Every time he would say something sweet and caring, my stomach would drop and I would get a bad feeling. Aren't you usually supposed to get butterflies and good tingly feelings...?

    I've decided that of course I'm going to have to say no. Argh but he is going to be so heart broken. I've done something similar to this to him in the past and promised not to do it again, and then I go ahead and repeat it! D:

    I guess I'll just have to suck up and do it, any tips or head starts though on how to break it to him? I definitely know that I want to hint to him that my friend really REALLY likes him and that maybe he should get to know her a little more.

    Thank you once again, this helped me realize a lot more. Hopefully everything will sort out in the end.

    Oh and Merry Christmas everyone! :)

  • Well, I know your friend thinks she is telling the truth when she says she just wants him to be happy and that if you dating him makes him happy then everything is fine. BUT, it's not that simple. It's never that simple, and she will grow to resent you. I've lost far too many best friends to that exact situation. So be very careful. If she truly likes him, it will bother her a lot if you two actually date once you start dating. She will either cry in her pillow at night, or confess to one of your mutual friends about the problem.
    Also, if you're not sure if you like him, there are ways to be sure. For example, on a day when you know you will see him, when you're getting ready in the morning, do you think about him? If so, you at least probably have a crush.

    Liking someone should not be a "decision". If you can't decide, it's possible your simply bored and the idea of going out with someone seems fun. Lets face it, relationships and drama and flirting can be pretty fun at 14.
    You seem like a very sweet girl, and I wouldn't think of you as someone to try and play games with the boy. But if you're thinking "Why not? He's sweet and cute, and maybe I actually do like him." From every girl I've talked to about the relationships she had when she was 14, she often "thought she might like a guy". But then usually, a couple weeks later, she realizes she doesn't REALLY really like him, and then she (like your mother said) breaks his heart.
    Guys think a lot differently than girls. Much much more simply... He has tried countless times to ask you out. So while you're thinking "maybe I might like him," he's been thinking "I completely like this girl. I want to go out with her."
    So I would advise, don't say yes if you risk breaking up with him in 2 weeks. "don't break his heart."

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