People think I'm an angel. Everyone I meet thinks I'm an angel. But only my sister and brother know what a b**** I can be, that my fits of anger are so crazy they're laughable, that I can physically and badly hurt someone then, that I'm outrageously selfish. I'm so afraid of being in a relationship because I'm always terrified of the burden of this angel image, of my true self revealing itself one day. Every time my boyfriend told me, you're so full of goodness, you wouldn't hurt a fly, I wanted to break up with him. If he saw my true meanness he'd be disgusted. I'm so mean to my siblings. I'd give an hour of my time to a stranger but I can't stand answering when my brother says good morning. And I'm so afraid of one day being comfortable enough with someone to reveal that self, to turn into that ugly, ugly person. It makes me wanna be alone forever.