I hate my life, and may end it.
Where do I start? I fell in love with a contentious woman, and 14 years after we married, I still love her. But she hates me. She hates me and won't leave me or let me leave her until our 10 year old is 18 or out of the house, because she thinks I won't spend time with my kids if I don't have too.
But I love them, and her, too. 7 years ago, I screwed up and cheated, but that's not why she hates me. She hated me before that. She hates me because I am me. I'm not exactly the guy she wants, which would be OK if she could define that, but she can't. She just knows he doesn't sound or look or speak like me.
That, by itself I could live with. But I also have severe ADD and can't really keep things straight all the time. I'm a serial entrepreneur, but also. serial looser. I don't make enough money too keep up with my wife's spending....
So, I have a gun. Every day for the last year, I've contemplated and planned and gone over my death in my head over and over. I've imagined daily how the bullet will enter on one side and exit the other, taking none and brain and hair and my pain with it.