A decision that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Last night while house and dog sitting my family's beagle, i was sitting at the kitchen island with a friend, playing video games, while the dog laid curled up at the foot of the fire place - her favorite napping spot in the house. during a lull in the gaming i walked over to get her a rub and to check on her. as i approached to stroke her she growled and snapped a bit - she was guarding a bone under her paws. i utter a few curses and walked away. as i walked back into the kitchen, i saw my brothers airsoft gun sitting on the counter. i picked it up, turned and pointed it hap-hazerdly in the direction of the fireplace. the noise got the dogs attention and then i made a noise and jerked the gun forward. a noise rang out, and I heard a yelp and she scooted off. I never opened my mouth. i had shot her. She ran up the stairs to my sisters room to hid in her usual spot under her bed. I have been shot by the same gun a hundred times before and knew the pain well - that of a light bee sting. i assumed she was just scared and was hiding, so i dismissed it.
after 20 minuets of so of not seeing here, i went up stairs to check on my baby. i lifted the skirting of the bed and a wave of fear and horror raced over me: she was huddled up, with one eye clenched shut and the other showed her eye looking lazyly to the side, housed in a droopy eye lid that hung loosely.
What have i done?
I rushed it to the vet at 1 am in the morning and got imideiate care. after many tests and examinations i was told it was not sever and medication would cure it. She was a trooper, didnt fuss, and was the perfect patient. she was stronger then anyone could have guessed. after i got her home, we applied the medications and put her down to sleep in her usual place in my parents bed.
In the morning i re induced the medications and she seems to be getting better. I cannot believe what i have done. i hurt my dog- the one that has been there for me when i am sick, when i am hurt, when i am alone. she has shown me unconditional love in the way that she does best. How do i repay her? but nearly blinding her? by possibly scaring her for the rest of her life? reduing her ability to see and thus live a normal life? What can i do to make this up? Nothing.
I now look at her, sleeping in her armchair, a small beagle of nearly 9. curled up, dreaming. i look at her eyes and all i see is pain and the reflection of my betrayal. as i sit here typing this through tear streaked eyes, i do not know what i can do. i do not now if she will forgive me. i dont know what to do. i am lost, and for once in my life, i do not have my support net to comfort me. to sit next to me and put her head on my lap. to look at me with her night brown eyes and look into mine and somehome tell me "it ok" but its not. i am trully sorry, my dearest Cleo. i am so sorry.