I grew up in a house that should have been condemned long ago, never cleaned, full of animal p*** and s*** and garbage because you were a lazy a****** who didn't care about keeping a clean home for your children. Growing up, I felt like I never had a chance. I grew very insecure, I felt like I couldn't relate to people who came from clean, good homes so I always ended up hanging out with scumbags who came from s*****, broken homes like I did.
I fell into drugs when I was 13. At the time, it was the only thing that kept my mind off of my s*** life as a child. Ended up dating men far too old for me & very abusive. You didn't care what I did or where I was. I spent most of my time at my friends houses because I didn't even have any food to eat.
When I was 17 I finally got a good job in an office. I was still living in this s*** house. If I tried to clean, you got violent. I ended up getting severely ill from the conditions I was living in, I lost my job, and ended up in the hospital for a week. Nobody came to visit me.
I turned 18. I went to all the party houses & got messed up every night so I'd have an excuse to have somewhere to sleep. I got taken sexually advantage of too many times to recall.
I turned 19 & met who would become my future husband, he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, I finally felt complete in my life. I never thought that I deserved a man like him. You never made me feel like I deserved a man like him. You constantly put me down & made me feel worthless. He was a good man with an even bigger heart. I felt embarrassed to bring him to meet you. I knew that he really did love me because he didn't care, he actually wanted to help you. & I have been sober ever since.
We got married & soon after I was pregnant. He had a decent job so we slowly poured all of our money into renovating your home & eventually moved in so we could continue to do so. It was finally starting to look good. I was happy, mostly for my little sister, that was the only life that she had ever known and I wanted better for her. He lost his job so we relocated to find work since we didn't want to be dependent on you for support.
We came back & the house was completely trashed again. This was a smack in the face. I felt so betrayed. I don't know why I expected any different. We remained optimistic, though. In the meantime, my husband joined the military. Then we found out you had not been paying your mortgage payments. You didn't "want to work" so your home was in foreclosure. They were getting ready to kick you out. We told you not to worry, that you & my sister could come live with us out of state so you could get herself on her feet again, start over.
I felt so good for both you and my sister, she never had a room of her own & had to walk through garbage to get to her bed that was covered in cat urine. We spent thousands of dollars to move you down, to rent a large house to accommodate all of us. We decided that it would be best for my husband to go w/o us during this transition as he was stationed elsewhere.
Now, we have not lived together for a year, we have only seen him a handful of times since we're living paycheck to paycheck. & you are both selfish ungrateful a*******. I regret the day that I took you out of that s*** ridden house, I now finally realize that you deserved that h*** you had created for yourself, but I didn't. We finally have the chance to be together with my husband. And you say that you are not moving, we're going to "stay here." That we "lied" and never said we were going to be "moving around."
You're the liar. You came to live w/a military family. You knew. You and my sister don't have jobs, buy food, clean, do anything. We pay all the bills, you could not afford to live on your own. I know that you constantly call other family members & tell them that we're "stealing" your money, making your life miserable, that the house run down, that we screwed you over. So you can get pity and handouts from them too. Oh, I'm sorry, you don't like the house? It must be too clean for your tastes.
You throw us under the bus so you look like the victim. We are such horrible f****** people. I've sacrificed so much for you two, wasted so much money, lost so much precious time. Bettered you & my sisters life instead of our own even though you never even attempted to do the same for me. This is the thanks that we get.
Now I'm stuck. And all I long for is my little family with my husband and child. I want to feel alive again, I long for happiness, I am miserable in my loneliness. I did all that I could, what more do you expect from me? Why are you torturing me? Why can't I just watch you suffer? Why do I have to be a better person than you?