Abused and confused

I am James.

When Charles was a little boy, probably 6 or 7. He lay in bed looking out the window into the night sky wondering if God was out
there. He clasped his little hands together and prayed that if there was somebody out there who was being hurt or who was lonely so much,that they couldn't
bare that pain that God would send that pain to Charles for as long as he could stand it,because Charles was already being hurt by a bad man every day and was lonely already.
Charles didn't want anyone else to go through that. And if God would watch out for those poor souls, Charles promised to be as good as he could.
As Charles grew up he watched as all the other people do as they pleased. Stealing lying and so on. What confused him was that he saw those bad
people getting rewarded but not Charles, he always came last. He was always the bigger man and put other people first. He wanted to do what
his friends were doing but he knew if he did wrong God would be unhappy. After years of seeing other people happy He began to doubt.
Year after year that doubt grew in the back of his mind. Until today. At the age of 34 Charles stopped believing.God could not possibly
be this cruel,right? Why would god take away the only person that I was ever close to. The only real friend? That was correct as far as Charles could tell, no god could . No deal was struck that night all those
years ago because god does not exist. If god does not exist love does not exist. If neither god nor love exist nothing is worth fighting for because
it would all be for fairy tails. God and love are for children to believe in like the Easter bunny and unicorns. It also means bad people get
what they want and good people wast their lives.


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  • Bang bang, reality's silver hammer came down upon his head....

  • Welcome to the real world Charles. God did not make man... rather man made gods.

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