That most of my day I spend thinking about ending my life. I have been in counseling for the last 15 years and I have tried more than 15 anti-depressants.. One weekend about 2years ago I took so many ativan that I had to be admitted to the hospital because I almost died. I took about 80 2 Mg pills. They told me if I hadnt been taking to the hospital when they did, I wouldnt be here today...... This is where it makes me so made with the person that called 911..... I WANTED TO DIE abd now I am alive living my daily h***.