If I Let You Go
I am a 14-year-old, shy boy. I like a girl named Julianne. She has very bad vision, and a better hearing than most, resulting in her being very silent and withdrawn. But when she allows you to see it, she has a great personality.
We are both very shy, and I'm terrified of how she'd react if I told her, and I'm way too much of a coward to do so. It just ends up with me doing things that hint, both afraid and hoping that she'll notice them. Most, maybe all, of our common best friends know, but I've made them promise not to tell anyone, especially not her. I secretly hope that one of them breaks the promise, but as they are all good friends, I'm pretty sure that won't happen.
I am very confused and uncertain, both self-confident and shy. That is self-confident on the outside (at least I like to think I am, but I guess it's quite transparent), but shy on the inside. Also, I don't know whether or not she likes me. There seem to be signs of it, like when she looks at me, or the fact that I (quite correctly) was her first guess when I sent her an anonymous Valentine's card last year. When she asked (I'm not sure if she was serious) if it was me, I couldn't lie. I said yes, and instantly regretted it. However, the card was sent to give her a hint, and if I'd said no, it would be pointless. It hasn't been mentioned since. Maybe she has forgotten it. That is the only time I ever admitted to it in front of her. But as I said, I don't know if she took it seriously.