This pain it killing me

I'm tierd of being mad.I've had anger/depression proplems my whole life. I've hid them well. As a child I knew the crap I went throught was not my falt (sexual,phisycal,emotanal abuse) But Now I'm having a problem keeping it undre wraps. I can't pay all my bills, I constantly feel like I'm being disrespected by my familey (boyfreind, three kids) No body is around for me to vent to. I've attempted suiside a few time's in the past(befor I had kids) I'm thinking about it now. I'm so tierd of feeling this pain. I wish someone could hold me and tell me everythings going to be ok.......but it's not and it won't be. I'm sorry I feel this way. Wish I could just be happy.

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