The shame of deception

I never told the truth about dating a parolee to my friends. Nor, did I tell them when I married him. Nor, did I mentioned the two drug felonies he has on his record. I feel like a fraud, a deceiver. My friends love him but if the knew the truth about my lies...

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  • You have lied omission, but has anything or will anything bad come about because you lied? No, you've lied to protect the reputation of the person you love, the way I see it you've only acted justly.

  • Is he still into drugs? Do you have any reason to suspect that he is? If at any point in time you have reason to suspect that he could be, then you need to take action since he might still be involved and you'll need your friends around you to help you make the right decision, whatever it might be.

    But if he isn't, then your friends just don't need to know. Oh sure, you should probably tell your closest bud (the one that you'd take a bullet for) because they're the person who is most likely to understand why you held back, but the rest? Nah. It's not really deceiving as much as it's just that they don't need to know all of the dirty laundry. I'm sure that they have things that they've never told you or your hubby, things that you'd probably judge them on as well.

  • You have not lied - you simply have not told the entire story. Where is the harm, what good would it do to tell everyone? Keep it to yourselves, as long as your husband never returns to his old ways it is no business of theirs.

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