What should I do
I've known this guy for four years.
We dated for a while.
He's done the kind of drugs I'm scared of.
He's cheated on me.
He's been abusive to girls in his past.
He's a dead beat Dad to his kids (none of which are mine).
He's blamed me for us not dating when he sees other girls.
He holds my hand.
He smiles at me first thing every time he sees me.
He calls me just in case something is wrong.
He would defend me no matter what.
He played me "our song" song instead of his favorite.
We haven't talked in months.
This man who I love is in jail right now on a theft charge.
I've been carrying a letter I wrote him around with me for a few weeks now.
I haven't brought myself to send it because I don't know if I could take it if he doesn't write back, or if he still loves me, or if he is with someone else.
Maybe I'm stupid. I've been close to sending it on several occasions. I guess I'm scared.