What should I do

I've known this guy for four years.

We dated for a while.

He's done the kind of drugs I'm scared of.
He's cheated on me.
He's been abusive to girls in his past.
He's a dead beat Dad to his kids (none of which are mine).
He's blamed me for us not dating when he sees other girls.
But...
He holds my hand.
He smiles at me first thing every time he sees me.
He calls me just in case something is wrong.
He would defend me no matter what.
He played me "our song" song instead of his favorite.

We haven't talked in months.

This man who I love is in jail right now on a theft charge.

I've been carrying a letter I wrote him around with me for a few weeks now.

I haven't brought myself to send it because I don't know if I could take it if he doesn't write back, or if he still loves me, or if he is with someone else.

Maybe I'm stupid. I've been close to sending it on several occasions. I guess I'm scared.

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3 Comments

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  • Sometimes you have to forget what you want and make sure you are getting what you deserve. It doesn't sound like you've done anything to deserve the heartache and misery this man seems to bring around everywhere. Make sure to take into consideration the pros and cons whatever the decision.

  • Run away....fast and far. You said yourself he has been abusive. If it was not to you, it will be soon. And if a man can't take care of his kids, what makes you think he'll take care of you ? Open your eyes.

  • This guy is already showing you who he is. He keeps you around as an option. If he really wanted to commit to you, he would. But obviously, this guy is not capable of being in a committed relationship with you or anyone else right now. And all the sweet things he may do, they won't make up the for the pain he'll cause if you stay with him. Move on. The fact that he's in jail should be the biggest red flag for you to move on to someone better, someone present, someone ready to be with you. Don't put your life on hold and waste years of your life on the hope that this guy will be that guy. Don't send the letter..unless it says not to contact you again.

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