I hate my brothers

For the past 18 years of my life, I've had to deal with two violent brothers. While they were never violent to me, I usually had to deal with their anger to either each other or to the house in general. Brother A is currently about 22, almost 23, while brother B is 21. I am almost 19 years old.

I just hate them both so much. I had to be a g****** mediator for both of them for so long. Every time they fought, I'd always try to break them up. There was this one time they both threatened each other with the same knife in one fight, and I hid it. When my mom went looking for it, I explained why I hid it and they got in trouble. Brother A hid my computer power cord and said that I shouldn't have meddled. Even though it looked like they were going to kill each other.

There are plenty of other fights, where I'd break them up or have to pull them apart. I remember that there was this one time brother B tried to call 911 over one of these fights, even though HE started it and he was really young.

And then there are the individual things between the two of them. I honestly don't know which is worse. Brother A has a violent temper, and whenever he loses at games or something, he starts breaking s***. In just recent memory, he broke two chairs, his headset, some chopsticks, pencils and pens; he throws s*** across the basement and is absolutely unapproachable whenever he's in a rage.

Brother B is no better. He always over reacts to everything. If he makes a little blunder, he needs to commit suicide just to make up for it. If someone threatens to take his computer away, he would rage and he even once stabbed through a door with a screwdriver. He also molested me when I was younger, looking at my privates and touching me. I tend to resent him more because of that, even though he has autism. Worst is that he doesn't even try to fix his problems. We constantly remind him that he needs to fix stuff, or get his act together, and almost always he just goes "oh oops i forgot arrrg rrrg hraaah"

Honestly, I'm burnt out with dealing with both of them. I'm tired of being their mediator, tired of giving a s*** when they're p*****, tired of having to stop them, tired of having to deal with them. There are plenty of times that I feel that I'm the most mature one even though I'm the youngest. I feel like I'm the most well adjusted one even though I caused the most problems in middle school. I feel like I'm the most normal one even though I've been f***** up in the head by depression and my previous anger issues.

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  • There's nothing I can suggest to you since you are not the source of the problem. Maybe you should just let them fight. It's not health to always make them rely on your mediation to live... They should have worked it out themselves...


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