i loved this guy in high school and we

i loved this guy in high school and we almost got married, but we decided we were too young to be serious and settle down. plus, he cheated on me and killed my heart and i grew distant from him in the end. for the past almost 20 years he has kept the flame for me alive. he has begged and pleaded to be given a second chance, but i wasn't ready.

well, the other day, he drunk dialed me (kinda on purpose--kinda not) and we talked. now if he had done this even two short weeks ago, i would NOT have been in the same state of mind as i was when he did call. previously, i was ready to call it quits and focus on my school, kids, career, and future---------even if it meant being alone for the rest of my life.

well, it's so strange, but finally, after all these years, something in me finally clicked and i was after all this time and after all his chasing and pleading--ready to make a move. so i thought about it hard and called him and told him how i felt. i expected him to jump for joy and come running to me as fast as he possibly could. of course, he WAS excited, he WAS happy to hear this after all, but he has a live-in girlfriend he doesn't love AND she has his 3 year old daughter who he loves immensely.

he had told me all these years that he knew eventually this would happen and that his girl would end up in a single parent household and he would only get her on weekends. but now, faced with it for real, he has no idea what to do. i am willing to back off if necessary, because i wouldnt hurt that little girl for anything in the world. but..........what about me? what about how he's chased and chased for 17 f*cking years--finally to get what he was after and then pull away?

i am highly confused. i don't know what to do. maybe this time should have been like all the others where i told him to do his duty to his kid and his girlfriend (who truly is a beautiful, nice person) and put him off feeling empowered and good about myself for doing so. i have never been a two timer nor have i ever condoned that type of behavior, but i am fast approaching midlife and needed to know of this could ever work out. i've been w plenty of guys who i thought i loved and i thought loved me, but here's this guy who has pined for me all his adult life and never married bc he saw ME as the only one for him, and now THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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  • You lost your first and best chance. Tell him "no" for his daughter's sake. If he separates from her mom anyway, then you can get together with him.

  • Personally I think you are the selfish one here. You couldn't decide before now that you wanted to give him another chance, and now you want him to drop who he's doing to come to you. I think you are selfish and he's an idiot for chasing anybody that long. But if you want the drama go after him.

  • To be honest, he doesn't sound like the most trustworthy guy. He is with a woman he doesn't love, secretly calling another woman he claims to love....I just wouldn't stake too much on it,

  • Well, interesting.....BUT.......stay away would be advise.
    He cheated on you in school, when you both were serious. Now he has a GAL PAL and a daughter and wants you, would be like cheatuing on her, right!!
    I think that you should just move forward, there are lots of goods guys out there, trust me I am one, at least i think I am, and I have never cheated. Good Luck

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