Account Login
** paranoia
Okay, I'm not sure if this is actually the appropriate category, but oh well.
So, basically I have this odd sort of paranoia about relationships/**. I'm basically a self-forced asexual because I'm too scared that I'll get in a bad relationship with a guy/girl or I'll end up getting an STD or whatever.
I know that not everyone is bad, but I've read so many stories about domestic abuse, or horrible diseases gotten from someone that lied about their virginity that the idea of ever getting close to someone like that scares the ** out of me.
I'm probably still too young to even be worrying about this, but the future still stands and I know what would happen eventually.
It happens to all of us at some point. I think bad relationships are inevitable: I recently had one where the guy was a total ** to me. For a year and a half I let him hurt me because I cared about him and wanted it to work. But in the end, it didn't.
Last night I went out on my first "first date" since we broke up. It was weird and at the end of the night I realized I'm not ready to date again. I'm scared of getting hurt or finding another douchey guy. But I will have to go back out there. You have to risk it sometimes in order to find the one who is worth it.