Brother and sister
My older brother K and I haven't been on talking terms for 2 years now. All this was because I didn't approve of his relationship with my best friend, X. I've tried (forced/pressured by my parents and closes friends) to talk to him last year twice, even apologizing, but he's just remaining really stubborn and not wanting to apologize bout his part. My younger brother, A, blames me for mine and K's argument, and for me "hurting" K's feelings when in fact K has already hurt mine so many times but we got through those just cause I let it all go without K having to apologize. But not this time, I want a REAL apology and not just a "let's put everything behind us" gesture. I've had enough of being put down, bring cursed at and used, and not getting the apology I deserve.
So even though we're living under the same roof, we tend to avoid each other as much as possible. He'd have his dinner later than us, wouldn't go for family outings, and mostly stays locked up in his room. My parents are still pushing to at least apologize or open up to him a few more times, but I'm just not strong enough to do that anymore. The hardest part is that we share the same circle of friends, so it's hard to answer questions like, "how's K doing?" or "K was so awesome in high school, mind telling him that I wanna have lunch with him someday?"
When it came to doing chores (mine was folding the laundry), each time I had to touch his clothes, I'd take like an hour just to get his done because I would just stare at them and not want to touch them. I'd always think to myself," Why do I have to do this? What has he done for me that I have to treat him so well?!" There are times when I'll even cry just looking at them, so I stopped doing his laundry. As of now, even A and K aren't talking after they had their argument, A actually stuck up for me and realized why I was mad at K for.
This caused my parents to be more upset with me, but they're so worried about K that they totally put my feelings aside most of the time, and that hurts. They're just so worried and scared that K might go into depression like the last time when X rejected him the first time, he totally shut everyone off. But if that's the case shouldn't they be getting him professional help rather than forcing me to do all the apology every time something like this happens?
My parents even threw him a birthday party for him last year, I got him a present but told my neighbors to give it to him saying it's from them. No one knows about this except them, and thank God about it.
Okay, what I wanna say is, I forgive K, but what's forgiving if I still want a proper apology and won't talk to my own brother unless he does? Am I asking for too much? I just want a proper apology, and why isn't he feeling responsible when he should? I mean he;s the oldest! But here I am now, my parents pushing all these responsibility to me when it should be HIS. I don't think I'm strong enough for this. I know the right way is to forgive and forget, but I can't get any closure from this without that ONE apology from K. That's all I'm asking for, but what should I do when I don't want to be the one to say, "let's just put every thing behind and move on" and know that I won't get THAT apology I want?
What do I do?