I still regret the words I've said to her

Those words...those horrible words have tormented me for the past five years. It eats me alive and my chest hurts so much every time I think about that fateful day. Even though this is an anonymous confession, I don't even want to write these horrible words on here. It'll just be too much for me.
I want to apologize to her so much but I'm afraid of falling in so deep in love with her again since I am in a relationship. I still love her but it slowly fades away as time goes by. However, the guilt within me just won't go away. I destroyed her as person. She was never the same. I had so many chances to apologize to her, but the regret did not hit me during those years. It just did not occur to me. Guess I was too naive to realize how much I've hurt her and too think it took me three years later to realize the damage that I have done....
How can I be so blind? Why didn't see it earlier?! The anguish within me is unbearable.
Sigh, even though, too much time has already passed. She has moved on with her life, still picking up the pieces of her broken heart.
I wonder though, if there will ever be a day that I can see her again. Just one chance to say I'm sorry, so I can have her in my embrace and to see that beautiful smile once more.

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  • You’re gay!!!!!

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