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I still regret the words I've said to her

Those words...those horrible words have tormented me for the past five years. It eats me alive and my chest hurts so much every time I think about that fateful day. Even though this is an anonymous confession, I don't even want to write these horrible words on here. It'll just be too much for me.
I want to apologize to her so much but I'm afraid of falling in so deep in love with her again since I am in a relationship. I still love her but it slowly fades away as time goes by. However, the guilt within me just won't go away. I destroyed her as person. She was never the same. I had so many chances to apologize to her, but the regret did not hit me during those years. It just did not occur to me. Guess I was too naive to realize how much I've hurt her and too think it took me three years later to realize the damage that I have done....
How can I be so blind? Why didn't see it earlier?! The anguish within me is unbearable.
Sigh, even though, too much time has already passed. She has moved on with her life, still picking up the pieces of her broken heart.
I wonder though, if there will ever be a day that I can see her again. Just one chance to say I'm sorry, so I can have her in my embrace and to see that beautiful smile once more.

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    • So what happened? Did you do it??

    • Of course not, but you can bet he gave himself one of those Hearts up there. Narcissists gonna narcissist

    • You can say you're sorry, than its up to her to forgive you...but it's God's judgement that matters

    • Keep your imaginary sky daddy out of this, you passive aggressive loser. The only person that matters is the girl.

    • All you care about is -your- pain,you didnt care about hers and never have. kys :)

    • Wow, what arrogance! How do you presume to know how much "damage" you did, how much _your_ actions "changed" her, if you can't be bothered to talk to or see her? You overestimate your effect on other people, like most drama addicts. I dare you to get over yourself and take the My Name is Earl Challenge. If that's too frightening for you, turn in your man card and slit your wrists.

    • This should be titled, When Emo'** Their 20's

    • What were the words
      maybe that is the first step :)

    • But that might lead to progress, and all we care about here is drama

    • Then quit whining about it to literally the rest of the world aside from her and GO MAKE IT RIGHT. Otherwise you're just another ** emo using up oxygen to feel special for a few seconds.

    • Also, was it five years ago or three years ago? Learn some basic math. Or are you as dumb as you are cowardly?

    • It does make the rest of the "confession" sound even more made-up, doesn't it...

    • You’re gay!!!!!

    • Or at least some dumb little drama queen with no control of their emotions. Same thing, really

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