The Dangers of Online

Hello. I bet right now you are thinking to yourself "oh jeez, another person who is going to rant about all the weirdos on here
who make fake identitys online and fake people out" Well...You're partly right, but there's a twist to it. Instead of telling you about the dangers, I will
tell you from personal experience. No, im not the person who got faked out. I was the person who faked people out. Suprised?

It starts out like this: I was only 12 years old at the time, when I found a site called "Club penguin" where you can ineract with other people
in a virtual little world. Very addicting. At that time I wasnt aware of the consequenses of lying to people on the internet..i mean come on, its the internet! Whats
the harm? So I dressed up my penguin as a guy and randomly stumbled acrossed a little group of people who then became some of the best people i ever knew.
To them I was known as 'Jacob'. Now at the beginning it was very easy being a "different person". Until we started going on a social network site called
pengspace. There people wanted to see what this mysteryous Jacob looked like. Me being the average little 12 year old girl..i had no clue what to do!
Then it came to me: "I can just steal other peoples photos." That is exactly what I did. Not going to lie, but I was having a blast!! I even stole some peoples videos
from youtube and said that it was me.

(Now this is where it all gets good) About a year later everything was still going good. Everyday going on club penguin and pengspace to chat with
my so called friends. Then one day, I met a girl named Sarah. Me being a very stuborn person I didn't really give her a chance to get to know me untill one random day i started talking
to her. She was very funny and awesome to hang out with! We talked evvverryday and evverryynight for along time. Then we started to get feelings for each other.
I asked her out and she said yes :D. At that point I was very happy.

First 2 years were awesome. No worries at all. Same thing still happened..We were still playing club penguin except instead of pengspace
it went to Aim. Me and sarah talked on aim 24/7. Got to admit those 2 year were the most happiest. Until year 3.

Year 3 of me and her going out started to get a little rough. By then she wanted to hear my voice and video chat me. I told her i didn't
have a mic or a webcam so there is no way i could have, but she kept bugging me about it everyday so i finally decided to buy a mic. Now there is no way
I would sound like a 16 year old boy when i was only 14. So i decided to record my voice and then edit it to make it sound deeper. It worked! She thought
I sounded cute. I was in heaven.

Then one dark day she was acting a bit strange so i asked her what was wrong. She didn't answer for like an hour. Then suddenly she said: "I found
videos of you on youtube, but they weren't uploaded from you." I panicked for a while and then finally confessed that the videos were not mine and that
i only said they were so she would think im cool. She said it was ok, but then she ALSO found a myspace. My myspace. The real me's myspace. Apparently
i had posted a status on there about a game that i really wanted, and i talked about that with sarah the day before. The only lie i came up with was that she was my cousin and i told her
about that game and so my cousin also wanted it. She believed me. I thought i was invinsible.

Then I started to realize something. I was completely utterly in love with this girl. I did not want to live without her. I wanted to marry her, but she was
muslim.

Year 4 Sarah started to realize that her religion does not allow dating. So we sort of got in the "Friend Zone" for awhile. Then things got back
to normal. I too, had also realized something. I was a 15 year old girl who is lying to this chick for 4 years, and at the same time fell completely in love. That
is when i realized we wont be together forever. Everyday and night i thought about the day when she finally knew the truth about me. I cried myself to sleep
every night and was scared to death every morning because i thought she could have found a picture of 'Jacob'. I knew that one day i would have to let her go.
That thought made me very angry and i started to act as a different person in my real life as well. Not caring about school work. Being distant with friends.
Disrespecting parents. It was awful.

The final year had come. By then Sarah was 17 and 'Jacob' was 18. Sarah got back into her religion again and i was put right back into the friend zone.
I didnt mind it too much though because i knew she still loved me, and i also understood that her religion forbid dating. So this year sarah was really bugging
me about hearing my voice again. By this time i had lost the program i used to desguise my voice. So i told her my mic broke and that we only have one cell
phone, but it is only for emergencies. (I wasn't lying about only having 1 cell phone in our house. No 'home phone'.) She started to ger angry at me and demand
me to go to a friends house, or use a payphone. I got very fustrated because I had no idea what the heck to do. I told her to wait and that i will get my own
cell phone, but she was so tired of waiting. Which i do understand.

Finally I met someone who had also done the same thing as i have. They knocked alot of sense in me and made me come to a conclusion of what i had to do.
End it with Sarah. So. When i was alone I made a recording of my real true voice explaining who i am and why i did this, and sent it to her. Now she didn't
know i sent it to her email that she never used anymore so i had just one more day with her. Finally the next night i was talking with her and told her "No matter
what happens to us just know you will be in my hear forever" she was confused on why i was saying this. Only thing i could say was "I love you." Sarah
did not like to say i love you because of her religion so i was expecting her not to say anything, but she suprised me. The last real message i have ever gotten
from her was: "I love you too." then i told her to check her email. Everything changed.

After I told her i started crying like a baby. I mean mad hard. My friend was with me to help me through it all though...which helped ALOT.
I got tons of messaged from Sarah saying saying "WHO ARE YOU?! IS THIS A JOKE?! I CANT BELIEVE YOU'RE A F***ING GIRL WTF!!!!" I did not respond to her
until the next day after school. I told her my real name. To my suprised she said she still wanted to be friends but ONLY friends. Which i understood completely.
Then after that day, she never spoke to me again.

I became depressed. Hated everything. I was hurting real bad. Sarah's friend texted me telling me that sarah cannot stop crying and she has become
emotionally unstable. I felt so bad for her. I cared for that girl so much and to see her hurt is the worst feeling in the world. The only thing in my mind was: "
Why did i do this to a innocent girl?" I will never know that answer.

I am now almost 17 now, and going to be a junior in high school. Do I regret this? Yes. I never ment to hurt her at all, but i did love the good days.
She was my first ever love and always will be in my heart. I hope you have learned somthing from reading this. The internet is scary. The person you have
talked to for years on the internet may not be the person you know. Also if you are in a situation that i was in..Do the right thing and end it fast. I would
never do this to anyone ever again. I lost the best thing in my life because of lying. I hope you enjoyed reading this true story. Remember, be safe.

-L

2 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Ouch. Here's some sympathy, girl.

    8ch

  • OK just so you know someone actually read this whole story. The internet can be a dangerous thing. I'm a guy and that's why when the net first started becoming popular I was always afraid to try to use it to start metting girls. I would always be afraid that they were really guys pretending. I see it's not just guys who pretend to be girls, it works the other way around. Obviously you learned your lesson and I think you for sharing your story. I hope you find peace and happiness.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?