I have been chronically ill for five years now. I've spent most of that time bedridden or housebound, sometimes stuck in bed for months on end with severe symptoms. I found out only months ago that the medications Doctors were giving me have actually made my condition worse by suppressing my immune system to the point where I wasn't able to fight back against my illness at all. Most days I cope but today I'm frightened. In the next couple of months it will be my fifth year anniversary of suffering this illness, which started in my teens and I'm just so frightened by that for some reason. It doesn't feel like anything is going to get better. I'm frightened, so frightened and I've spent so much time alone I feel like I'm losing all perspective. My Mother and Doctor are doing the best they can but I'm losing it, I'm losing all grip on reality and I so wish this would stop. I'm scared. I don't know what's going to happen.