I'm trying...

Why can't anyone get that? Why can't my whole family just realize that I'm trying...

I"m sorry I lost my scholarship and my grant, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got a C in my math class. I'm sorry I let my scholarship and my grant slip away because I'm stupid and it's all my fault, okay?

I know it's all my fault. I tried but I didn't try hard enough and I got a C and I'm sorry. I'm f****** sorry! What more can I do? What more can I say?

No, I don't want to end up in debt like both my sisters. I know, they graduated college more than 10 years ago and they're still paying off their loans. I know that.

I'm sorry and I know it's all my fault and I know we wouldn't be so tight on money if I wasn't accidentally made. I'm sorry I was even born.

I'm sorry I made you all hate me. I'm a f****** failure and I know it. You don't have to shove it in my face and tell me that I wasn't trying hard enough. At least I was trying. At least I saved you a semester of money. But that's not good enough.

I'm not good enough. I've failed... I've failed everyone. And now we all have to pay, literally... I'm sorry for being the biggest f*** up in the family. I'm sorry I even thought I had a chance to survive college. I'm sorry that I even thought I had a chance to survive.

I'm just... I'm done. I don't know what else to do anymore. I've tried loans and I got denied. I've tried financial aid and I got denied. I've already settled on switching from my university to community college, but that still costs. We have no more money. And it's all because of me.

It's all my fault and I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I've failed all of you.. I'm sorry for being a failure..

Aug 20, 2012

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