I cheat on my boyfriend with my ex

My boyfriend is so horrible to me hes mean drinks to much is controlling and possesive who is an orphan with all kinds of emotional baggage which is why i feel sorry for him but i want to leave but am to chicken s*** to walk away because i dont want to cause more hurt i his life but i cheat with my ex constantly and want my life with him.... im at my ropes end..... i wish i wasnt such and indecisive chicken s***

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