Just don't know what to do sometimes

I've been in a relationship for over three years now, and I love him. Most of the time I feel like he doesn't love me, just loves having a girlfriend. But then again I know he loves me because what guy would date a girl for over three years and not try to sleep with her? (We haven't had s** yet, I decided long ago I was going to wait until marriage, for many reasons.) My boyfriend is such a hypocrite though. Whenever I want something done and he doesn't want to, he always makes me decide not to, but whenever he wants something and I don't, I can't do it either. Like, last night we were talking and I commented on something that he did that I thought was hot, and I asked him, in jest, what I did that he thought was hot. (I say in jest because I don't think I'm attractive or beautiful or hot at all.) And he wouldn't say anything. I told him it made me feel not attractive more than usual and he said it wasn't true, but still, he wouldn't specify what. I asked nicely a few times, our joking argument turning into a real one. He went to bed so I asked him again today and he said "No. I asked you nicely last night to back off, even said please, and now you are ticking me off." But the thing was, I said please last night too, and asked nicely, so why should his "please" and niceties trump mine? He trumps me all the time. It may sound juvenile, but this was just a recent example. I don't know what else to say.

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