I think my wife is literally going insane
This is not just a "my wife is crazy" post.
My wife's mother died in her mid-thirties after she had become deemed mentally unfit to keep her children and then died soon after that, found in a hotel room (likely overdosed).
Her sister is a few years older went nuts, started getting paranoid (her neighbor told us about a time when she jumped out of her window screaming about spiders crawling over her). Her sister lost her home and is now in government housing getting some help.
My wife is now in her mid-thirties and for the past year she has been in a depression. She thinks that everyone is out to get her. We cannot have any friends because any time someone does anything that she doesn't like she goes nuts on them and attacks them with every little thing that they have done, blowing up their texts with awful, hateful things.
She thinks that companies are out to get her whenever she isn't satisfied with their service (she is only satisfied if she gets something for nothing).
She can't work for anyone because anything that goes wrong she shuts down and stops going to work because "it's so horrible". And everyone who works knows, nothing ever goes perfectly.
I tried to save her by creating a job for her, bought her a clothing store which she loves and gets to shop and wear all of the clothes from the store and she enjoys working with customers. But then if anything goes wrong (as it always does) she stops going to work, shuts down the shop to get through her little episode. Business ends up dying off and she gets more depressed because her shop is making no money.
Her paranoia was something I could deal with by just agreeing that "ya, so and so is a b****". I tried to tell her at one point that perhaps she was in the wrong but that just turned her anger toward me, so I learned my lesson.
Now she sometimes becomes someone else when she drinks. A violent and even angrier person. She has beat the crap out of me a few times now. Sure, I could have fought her back but the few times I have defended myself, she brings up over and over about how "I hit her".
She becomes this evil person and then forgets about it when she comes back. I have to live with the memory but she doesn't.
After the second time of her beating me, I lost all fight I had left to keep us going. I started looking out for myself and have let her slide to whatever she is to become. I could not lose myself as well. If we are to have any chance at all, I need to be sane when she comes out the other side (if she ever does).
I am now in the process of buying a small house. Whether it will be for me to move in, or her to move in, we are separating. I think that the only chance we have is if she moves into the house and re-starts her life and hopefully snaps out of whatever is going on with her. Otherwise it will be her home after the divorce and she can choose her own path from there. At least I will have done all that I can.
She will not seek counseling. She doesn't believe in it and has gone before with no success.