So this is what's happening. I have been texting to a guy with friendly intensions for over 3 months. I'm 17 and he is like 10 years older than me plus he is engaged with my teacher. This last month I felt personally close to him because he helped me so much through everything you could ever imagine. Weird thing is I had a sleep over at their place once and after my teacher fell asleep and went to bed. I kinda used him as a "pillow" and snuggled with him all night. I was asleep most of the time but the couch was unconfy and I found him awake when I woke up there were times that he kissed my forhead which is fine toltally. But his hands were kinda on my hip and went to my ribs just like stroking gently but not doing anything. Does that mean he is sexually attracted to me but not doing anything because of the situation or am I retarded to think this. Weird of it all I felt bounded with him more like a brother love but certainly there is a aring of some how. I never had a sibling so I don't know what it's like but I think what we have is pretty cute and special. I just don't want to ruin anything but in a different world I would love to be with him to be honest. Is this weird? Also he told me that he enjoyed our snuggles too. And I realized that lately he is not sending <3 or talking to me as much after that thingy. I mean it was nice and family like but it kinda felt more than family too so I don't know what to do, I found myself wishing I could snuggle with him today with like good intentions... I don't know which category does this fall under but I feel Bad when I don't talk to him. Like I miss him and want to see him again he doesn't give me butterflies whatsoever. But yeah I just don't want him to drif away and am kinda scared. He continues to help me with life though.


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  • There is sexual attraction between you and him; you haven't acknowledged it explicitly but he would certainly be aware that he fancies you (cue, the rubbing on hip and ribs). With this sexual attraction acknowledged, then what, considering the fact that he has consciously taken a step back (less texting and talking)? If he's stepped back because he wants to be faithful with his fiancée, then your pursuing him (softly, as suggested by an earlier comment) may lead to he and you engaging in full on s**, but that would be a bad outcome. Bad, because you will have contributed to his betraying his partner and because you have inserted yourself into his and his partner's relationship with the consent from only one of them. Suggestion: tell them both clearly and explicitly that you are attracted to him, i.e. full on attraction, relationship, sexual, etc. You can tell them while all three are together, or to each of them individually, but all 3 must be fully aware. If, after they have talked between themselves and both agree to accept you into their lives as an equal partner, then wonderful!!!! (Research polyamorous relationships.) Otherwise, you should refrain from pursuing him, knowing that you have been honest and open with both of them about your feelings and attraction for him. Good luck! Update us would be nice, too! J, 2012.12.22

  • If you're texting with any regularity, and he already knows you liked the sleeping arrangement, and you know HE liked the sleeping arrangement, then on some week night or (better) weekend night, you should text him, "God, it's been an awful day: I really really need to just snuggle with somebody." You wouldn't have asked him directly, and so you can't technically get rejected, but he will TOTALLY understand it as a request, and if he wants to renew the physical contact -- and I'm 95% sure he will -- he will text you back and offer to be the person you snuggle with.

    When that happens, go wherever he says, and go in with the attitude that you're already having s** with him, so that night will be nothing new. When the snuggling starts, get as close to him as possible, and squirm against him as often as possible, and do not refuse anything he asks you to do, or stop him from proceeding. Let him think he's taking the lead, and let him do what he wants. And do ANYthing he asks. If he's not aggressive about it, then while you're snuggling, just moan softly every time he touches you in a new way, or changes his position or yours.

    If he still does nothing overt for, say, an hour or so after the snuggling starts, then whisper, "I get sooooo lonely, and I want so badly to be kissed." And then just look in his eyes and don't break the eye contact until he kisses you.

    No man -- NO man -- will be able to resist someone as sweet and as gentle and as passionate as you OBVIOUSLY are, so don't get anxious about anything. You're the woman, and you're in control, even though you want him to think that EVERY decision that gets made -- in the two of you getting togeher, and while the two of you ARE together -- is his.

    You don't need to make the decision yet about whether or not to take him from your teacher (although I think you already know that you CAN, or maybe even that you already HAVE): this relationship you have with her fiance should just be about fun and s**. ENJOY!

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