Love that can never be

I am a white 44 year old male and my best friend and the only person I love in the world is a 24 year old black girl I met online when she was 14. We talked online and on the phone until she was 17, when I went to see her. We were intimate, but I didn't f*** her until a few years later during another visit. It's been over 4 years since we last met, but we still text and email each other often. We both have alot going on in our personal lives.
I tell her once in a while that if I ever hit the lottery that I'll take care of her forever. (mushy, but very true)

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  • Understood. I'm friends with a hot, beautiful 24 year old blonde who worked at the sports bar I go to. Met up with her after work several times, and found her irresistable. So beautiful, sweet, sexy smile, and older than her age. We've had a few intimate occasions, and I've had dreams about her. She's an amazing young woman.

    Thing is..I'm in my mid-40's as well, and know this can't happen, long-term. She has much going on her life as well, friend getting married, buying a house, and prompting her to want the same, but knowing she's nowhere near that, yet..She and I do so well together. She even acts like a gf or wife with me, saying things like, referencing her friend, "Sarah..You like her.." with a direct, wife-like telling me.

    I'd be lying if I said I don't think about her a ton, and often consider the age difference to be nobody's business, but also know..Guy my age, with a hot, young woman of 24, would be frowned upon by my family and friends. H***, I have a niece that age, and another of 21.. How can I be with a 24 year old?

  • Why aren't you willing to take care of her anyway?

  • I AM WILLING to take care of her if it was fiscally possible.

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