I need some advice, please.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months (no, this is not about a baby) and at first I was really into it. Then after a couple months it was like I was just still with him, because why not? The kid hasn't done anything wrong. But for about the last month I've come to realize that we are extremely different. Like he likes to do really calm "old people" things and I like to do "wild and crazy" things. And obviously since I'm human I find other people attractive. Recently (within the last couple weeks) I found out he's rather jealous as well.
On to the point: this isn't a spur of the moment decision, I've thought about it long and hard for the last month and I've decided I need to break up with him so I can be happier and he can hopefully find someone that's as into him as he is to them. (he's very clingy/needy).
I've decided to break up through text message (idc if you think that's mean or whatever), because firstly I think he'll cry and I can't deal with being around upset people, and secondly because we work opposite 12hour night shifts, so it's kind of the only option.
This is what I think I'm going to text him: "You're probably going to hate me for this, but I want to break up. I like my space and you're kind of needy. I get it, you love me and you want to be around me. I love you too, but to be honest at this point it's more like a family love. I want you to be happy, but I want it to be with someone that's just as happy to be with you, and that's just not me."
So, two questions: Does that get the point across well? (do you have suggestions of what to say?) and should I do this on the night he works (tomorrow) or the night I work (the day after)?

Report this

3 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Do not text him. Find time to tell him in person that its not working out. I had the same issue with my ex. You have to be string for a couple minutes but then it's all over with and you'll feel a lot better in the end.

  • Sometimes you give a little okay, he works, maybe He tired,

  • There’s nothing wrong with breaking up with someone if the relationship is not working. You’re not married and it doesn’t sound like it’s that serious. You’re definitely in two different places. You seem too immature to be in a serious relationship right now. That’s not to be mean, just an observation.

    Breaking up via text is so impersonal and cowardly. Sure, it’s the way a lot of people communicate these days, but have some compassion. Your tone in the proposed text comes off as bitchy. You’ve been with him for 9 months. If you really want to hurt the guy, why don’t you just change your relationship status on facebook. Let him find out that way. - I’m just kidding. That’s really mean. Let me ask you, would you appreciate a text message to end any relationship?

    Breaking up is never easy. It’s emotional, even if it’s your choice. You may want to look at this as an opportunity to grow up. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and be able to deal with others and their feelings - including your own. How are you going to have a truly serious relationship or even get married, if that’s something you want, if you don’t allow yourself to feel or see someone cry? If you really can’t do a face to face, then at least by phone. The only text message you send should just say, we need to talk. And don’t say yes or no about breaking up if that’s what he asks. But give the guy something more tangible then a weak text. Chances are this won’t be a total surprise to him. You’ve most likely been pulling away for sometime.

    Do you think that if you send him this text then it’s done? That you’ll never have to deal with him again? You’re not preparing yourself for ..what if he calls you back to just call you on your s***? What if you run into him at a club or grocery store. You’ll probably do what you want to do regardless. But be kind and at least leave it on good terms.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?