Nightmare in Law

I can't stand my boyfriend's mother. I tried really hard to love her and accept her as she is... and I was getting there until she decided to flip out on me tonight.
Backstory: I'm currently living with my boyfriend, his brothers, and his mom who lives with them because I decided to leave my abusive family home where I was not progressing whatsoever due to my mom being a narcissist and my step-dad being an enabler. After my mom physically assaulted me, my boyfriend classified it as an emergency and immediately took me in. The only thing is, because the "move" was so spontaneous (and he lives in another state), I have literally been building a life for myself for the past couple of months. This includes getting a new phone number (so my mom and her flying monkeys can't get to me), getting a birth certificate, my social security card, a state ID, high school transcript, and job hunting. Each of these took a long period of time, and it's only now, 5 months later, that I find myself in the hiring process of a job in the child care industry that requires A LOT before I can even start my training. All the while, I'm dealing with PTSD after all that happened with my family. With that being said, I still have not given up.

What hasn't been making this any easier, is my boyfriend's mom who is manipulative, controlling, and relentless. Her relationship with her sons is defined as emotional in c e s t. (Look it up). She is beyond needy and throws tantrums whenever any of her sons show any signs of independence. One time, she started to yell, "What am I going to do? Be here alone with nothing!?" when her sons were invited to a birthday party. You can't do anything without her suddenly needing to do it (and taking it over), the kitchen being her favorite spot to do this. Need to clean? She will suddenly come in and take over, only to claim later that no one else in the house does anything (the result is now no one in the house does do anything, because she'll just do it anyway after throwing a fit). Need to cook? She will either take over it and ruin it (many meals have been ruined and/or burned after her "help"), or she will haughtily lounge in the kitchen until you decide to give her the space. To do what? I'm not sure. The kitchen is very small though, and can barely fit two people. Despite being busy in the kitchen, the moment any of her sons decide to take a moment to watch TV, she suddenly decides she was going to settle down to do the same. The worst though, is the way she emotionally manipulates those around her to see her as a victim of her circumstances when she is the one that creates all of them - especially to her eldest son, who is the main victim of her emotional i n c e st.
Last weekend, My boyfriend and I decided it was time to put a lock on the door. She had been barging in the room multiple times without any shame or remorse, for small things like, wanting to see if we had a specific cup in our room (we did not), or wanting to check something. This would be fine, if my boyfriend didn't work the graveyard shift and if she didn't take over everything else. The bedroom is our one safe haven in this house where she rules over everything. So, we got the lock. Keep in mind, that every other room in this house has a lock on the door, too -- including hers.
It wasn't until today, after my boyfriend left for work, that she discovered the lock. When I told her that, yes, we did get a lock, and answered that it was for privacy reasons when she inquired why, she hollered at me.
She told me it was disrespectful and she doesn't understand what we need privacy for, when she never comes down here (Right). When I tell her that I think this is something we should discuss with her son - my boyfriend - because I'm not comfortable talking about it, she starts to holler at me about all the things she doesn't like about me and my boyfriend and how hard life is for her now ever since I've been living here. What is so hard, you might ask? Well, now, she can't just come and go in my boyfriend's room as she pleases because I'm here and my boyfriend, being the considerate man he is, points that out to her often. Isn't it just awful that she has to consider someone other than herself for once? Isn't it just awful that her son isn't enabling her like she is so used to because her energy is beyond draining and her sons don't want to deal with it? Really, I think she's upset because now she has to share the "attention" she is so used to getting from her sons that she uses as husbands.
After all the hollering, I apologized and she calmed down, though I'm certain she will undoubtedly tell her sons what happened and paint me in a bad light. The eldest son will believe her without a second thought.
This is a selfish person that has no self-awareness. I tried really hard to empathize with her and accept her as she is. She's a lonely, old lady with no life of her own. She doesn't have a significant other or any friends. She only has her sons. I'd probably be miserable, too... I've definitely reached my limit with her though. Is it bad that I want her to leave? She has an option to go back to her home country where she was so much happier. Whatever. I can't wait to get this job so I can save up and leave. I hope my boyfriend will come with me because this is a disturbing situation to be in. I would love a way to cope.

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  • I wont keep bugging you and my aunt sent me a message asking if i would like too go out with her later. I know it probably sounds silly. but im so excited and she is so nice too me and buys me clothes and other things. I told her loads off times she does not have too and she says she wants too. because she says im very good and she loves me and is proud off me. I get embarrassed when she says that too me. I dont think im very good. she is going too call my mom and i hope im allowed. I hope yous have a good day huggs.

  • I have being reading and trying too get through too you and my friends also. I am going too go too sleep. my eyes are closing and im hurting. I know i only you just started too message me. but you were so nice too talk with. I hope you can get back too me soon. I will try a bit longer and if i dont hare from you i will leave you be. your so sweet huggs.

  • I hate our wifi so much. I am in bed and cant even get through too my friends on snap chat huggs.

  • I hope you can come vlback and talk with me soon huggs.

  • My dad just left and my mom just turned on our wifi. I hope you can talk with me later. I love talking with you and you treat me so sweet and kind. I hope yous have a nice day huggs.

  • Im in bed and hope you can talk with me soon huggs.

  • Hi and i slipped again. I hope you can talk with me and our wifi is so bad huggs.

  • I bet you can see me kk sister and stop being smart sister kk and i am at some place else sister kk and think its called you no you effed up and sorry kk sister and you should no i miss chat with you sister kk and huggs too yous all sister kk

  • I hope you can talk with me soon and thanks huggs.

  • ............

  • I hope your ok huggs.

  • They want me to leave this site forever.

  • I would be upset if that happend huggs.

  • I wish there was another site that we could go to.

  • I really missed talking with you. my dad has just left and my moms going out. my little brother is going too be picked up soon and the girl that minds up is taken me too school. I hate our wifi as is so slow. I have too take pain killers and i hate taken them. I hope your able too talk with me later. I hope yous have a nice day huggs.

  • I do hope your ankle is healing.

  • Thank you and its still soar huggs.

  • I hope you are not trying to take shower by yourself.

  • It blocked me earlier. I cant beleave how sweet and kind you are. I got sick earlier huggs.

  • Sweet dreams.

  • My dad just left and mom turned on our wifi. I love talking with you. Im not going too school today. I got sick a few times again last night. my little brother is being picked up soon and my mom is going out also. I still have too studie and i know i wont be able too concentrate. I have too go and eat toast my mom said and i really dont want too. I hope the girl that minds us is not going too keep annoying me. I hope yous have a nice day huggs.

  • Honey do the best you can.

  • I am so glad you got back too me. I got sick again in my room and the girl that minds us. I thought would be mad at me. it went all over the place and made a complete mess. I am in bed and she says i need a bath. I told her i can do it myself. but she just said im not too argue with her and do as im told huggs.

  • Have her help you bathe and tell her to get naked also it is only fair.

  • I missed talking too you. I have too go and the girl who minds us told me 5 more minutes. sweet dreams and thank you for being kind and sweet too me huggs.

  • I hope you can talk with me again later huggs.

  • Your so sweet and kind huggs.

  • I am just sad huggs.

  • I hope you find me here huggs.

  • ,,,,,,,,,,,

  • Is there loads off people who would see us huggs.

  • /\/\/\/\

  • I feel a bit sad now huggs.

  • \\\\\\\

  • I am in bed and i wish like you said i lived with yous huggs.

  • -------

  • I think that would be nice and thank you for being nice huggs.

  • =============

  • I dont know what warm oil is huggs.

  • ;;;;;

  • I got a towel huggs.

  • ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

  • Thank you and and i will take my panties off huggs.

  • [[[[[[[[[[[

  • Its sticking out huggs.

  • My thing is sticking out between my v***** huggs.

  • Xxxxx

  • I have too be quite though and i made a loud noise huggs.

  • Vvvvv

  • I dont get what you mean sorry huggs.

  • 1111111

  • I dont know anybody nicer than you. I have my leg up on two pillows. my dad and mom would go mad. its the girl that minds us who is here huggs.

  • 222222

  • I hope you can talk with me again tomorrow and thanks for being so kind and sweet.good night and huggs.

  • 33333

  • I am trying too too get through since 8.30. I am not in school and im not feeling well. I think I have what my little brother had. I hope yous have a nice day.

  • 44444

  • I have what my little brother had. I am meant too be doing some school work and i cant concentrate. I hope you can talk later with me huggs.

  • 5555555

  • I am back and i hope you can talk huggs.

  • 777777

  • My dad and mom are gone out huggs.

  • Zzzzzzzzzz

  • My dad told her too bath me and not too argue. I dont want her too though huggs.

  • Yyyyyyyyyyy

  • I want too do it myself huggs.

  • ,.,.,.,.,.,.

  • I should be let bath myself huggs.

  • [][][][][]

  • She came in and told me too get ready. I dont want too and she said if i argue. I will get my bottom smacked like my dad told her huggs.

  • Yes and we are in bed huggs.

  • Llllllll

  • I hope you can talk with me and im sorry and i cant stop crying huggs.

  • Kkkkkk

  • Can you talk please huggs.

  • Oooooooo

  • I hope you can talk with me huggs.

  • Vvvvvvv

  • I am going too sleep and i could not reach you. I hope you can talk with me tomorrow huggs.

  • I hope you can talk with me later. I have a lump on my head. I live talking with you and your kind and sweet. I hope yous have a nice day huggs.

  • Aaaaaa

  • Its hurting a lot huggs.

  • Sweet sweet dreams

  • I slipped again and hit my head on tiles and hurt my ankle more huggs.

  • I could not sleep last night. I was too warm and my foot hurt alot. I was trying too send you a message. but i think she turned off our wifi and plus its very slow. it takes ages too message you and look things up. I hope she does not tell on me and im enough trouble. I hope yous have a nice day huggs.

  • I had an argument with her and she spanked my bottom and said she might tell my dad. I only wanted too bath myself huggs.

  • I am sorry and im crying and my bottom hurts. I am sorry i sent a message some place else. I just seen your name and sorry again huggs.

  • I am not happy and she told me i better do as she tells me huggs.

  • Thank you huggs.

  • I hope you can talk with me soon huggs.

  • I hope you can talk with me again later. I am not having a good day huggs.

  • I was happy when i seen your last message telling me sweet dreams. my dad has just left and my mom is in bed still. I put our wifi on for a few minutes. I hate going too school on crutches. the girl that minds us thought i was staying off school because off my ankle. my little brother is going now also. I am going too brush my teeth again. I hope yous have a nice day huggs.

  • I still would be embarrassed if she cought me. she knows me since im little huggs.

  • I have too get a towel so and thank you huggs.

  • I am here and hope you can see me huggs.

  • I'm sorry too hare what your suffering through...

  • I hope yous have a good ending.....

  • If your BF is working why don't you leave now? Also can't you find some kind of job to bring in money until you can move into the job you really want? Sounds like you moved from one bad situation to another and are just adding to this one. I can only imagine a disfuntional family adding an outsider to the mix. It is her house and her son is lucky she lets him stay there and now he brings you there. Either find a way to befriend her or to get out. If you've been there 6 mos with no job I'm sure she see's you as a mooch sponging off her and her son. So either grow up and get out on your own or deal with other peoples crap.

  • Sure you want her to leave but it's not happening. You are nothing more than an interfering interloper to her. Better work h****** your exit plan.

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