I'm afraid to talk sometimes

In school, I'm very reserved and quiet. I don't talk if not spoken to and I avoid people as much as possible.I am jealous of people with the confidence to just say to the world, "I'm weird and I don't care". I think those people are my inspirations because I'd love to have that confidence for just one day of my life. I cannot stand when people don't like me because it makes me think, am i that awful? I've been left alone by myself in school, I've been hurt, and like anyone else,bullied. A lot of my friends I do have are very loud people that can't be quiet for 5 seconds, literally, I think it actually hurts them on the inside to not talk. To some people I'm mysterious, or just a quiet shy girl. People reach out to me, but I have trusting issues due to bad friendships.My one friend,who i knew since kindergarden, compared me to a dog after 6 to 7 years of friendship, that hurts the most. A best friend called me a s*** and then lied and said she didn't, made me cry, and just laughed. Other people make fun of me because of my nationality. People lie to me to embarrass me and I don't want to be the victim of others anymore. I've lost myself in the place that is called "home" and I wait and wait for it to get better and have a bright side, but maybe that bright side doesn't even exist.

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  • It can be very hard not being able to talk.
    I tried everyday my entire life, i'm still pretty quiet at times. Don't think "i'm quiet" and dwell on it. Just keep telling yourself you're great at talking, put on a smile whenever you talk, it'll make you feel better and eventually you'll love to talk more and more.
    The trick is to not think about it, thought creates our reality, so keep telling yourself that you're becoming an amazing conversationalist.
    it won't happen instantly but you'll be just fine :)

  • Id like u im an outcast as well

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